Fantasy Ride

2010...The Year of the 'Hater'?

2010-12-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

Well it's the end of the year in a few days and the social networks are alive with reflections of 2010 as well as people looking forward with renewed motivation to 2011. Don't worry, you won't see any "2011 is my year, next year watch me blow" kind of statements around here; '2000 and Grind' absolutely jarred my head back in '09. I think I'll just keep my head down and get on it with it. Nevertheless, as I look back into 2010, there are three words that come to mind, a phrase that was thrown out at every opportunity, the statement that was such a cliche, saying that it was a cliche actually became a cliche....yep you've guessed it: 'He/She's a hater'.

Now there are two sides of my fence here, the second side annoys me slightly more than the first. Let's start with the first (well obviously). My question is have we become a nation of haters? I've been asking myself this for a while. Yes the term has been around before 2010 but this year for whatever reason (ahem Twitter) it has entered my viewing space on more or less an every-day basis. The rise in the popularity social networks, which by their very nature invite people to comment, and programmes such as X Factor and Dancing with the Stars where we all become singing and dance experts, means that we are encouraged to state our opinion - good and bad. Now I'm all for that, having an opinion. Well I blog, if I didn't have an opinion then I wouldn't be here. But has it come to a point where the negative comments are outweighing the good?

Well taking a look at one days worth of my Twitter and FB news feeds, I would say otherwise; I see supportive comments, retweets of projects that others are working on, encouragement and praise etc. Obviously there are the odd jibes at Cheryl Cole or an up and coming Team UK rapper but perhaps its because I follow positive people, I'm not surrounded by too much negativity. This is a principle that I apply to my 'offline' life also, therefore the so-called excessive 'hateration' doesn't bother me so much. To me, it appears to be so easy to get rid of people that you deem negative: cut them off, block them, delete their number, you get the drift. However, for some reason the cries of 'Hi Hater' still seem to be on repeat on my airwaves.

Now this is what annoys me, the second side of my fence, the issue that led me to a midnight rant on FB which had me furiously typing away at my Blackberry, eyes wide open like a crazy woman - it was in no way the 'Carrie' image that I have of myself whenever I blog or write. I was being voyeuristic, catching up with what all of my 200 odd 'friends' had been up to that day and was astounded by the number of 'hater'-related status updates there were. Nowadays, it seems like everyone has got haters, from Diddy venting his frustration to his fans via UStream, to Abdul from the Lion's chicken shop down the road complaining about the chip shop around the corner stealing his customers. It has become endemic amongst our generation - if you are anybody then you HAVE to talk about about how many haters you have, how you're going to prove your haters wrong and how much they motivate you to 'grind harder'. Stop begging it. You don't have haters. Damn, all I said was that I didn't like your trainers and now I'm a hater of your life goals and achievements???!! Maybe it's because over the years the ideology of celebrity and fame has become more prominent in our society, whether it be red-carpet fame or fame-on-the-road. The media and shows like X-Factor have told us to believe in ourselves and not let anyone tell us we can't achieve our dreams, so much so that now it appears that we have inflated egos where criticism is dismissed because the person who said it, that blasted dream-killer, is obviously just an ugly person inside who is simply jealous and doesn't know what they're talking about. For example, I am a Beyonce fan but that doesn't mean I'm going to like everything she does. I made a comment about B on my blog a while back (you see, so close we're on first-initial basis), one negative word and the stans came at me like flying banshees. Now I love Beyonce, yes I complain about her being overexposed but throw on 'Baby Boy' and I can do the entire sand-dance routine blindfolded - backwards roll and everything! Does a negative comment make me a hater? In fact, at what point does someone become a hater? Is it five negative comments in a row, or if they make a positive comment now and again then that's ok? Who cares!!! I'm so over hearing this word! (Closes eyes, inhales and exhales for ten seconds).

Not everyone is going to like what you do; it's inevitable you will face negative comments one way or the other. Yes there may be some people out there who never say or do anything positive but why is that an issue to you, ask yourself that question. Do you rely too much on external validation perhaps? If naysayers do criticise you, decide whether it is constructive or not; if it isn't, then don't let it bother you. Personally, I don't let it affect me either way so for me to talk/tweet/FB/get annoyed or angry about 'haters' is expending energy in a wasteful manner when it could be more useful elsewhere.

What do you think, have we become a nation of haters or do people just have inflated egos which means they find it difficult to swallow criticism? Speak on it.

If you like this post, feel free to comment and share (new feature alert!) I appreciate your support. If you don't like it, comment anyway, I don't care -you're just a hater! ;)

What Rule Book? Ladies, Go Get Your Man!

2010-11-08T18:16:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to go straight into it. I've been staying in New York for a little bit now and when it comes to the topic of dating...they seem to do things a little differently over here. Now I'm not talking personally (disclaimer alert!), but from speaking with my friends who have been here for a while through to my own observations on the street and on the subway, there are clear (and hilarious) differences between the way women and men act on opposite sides of the pond. New York especially is known for its 'go get em' attitude; everyone has a business card, everyone is constantly networking, the city never sleeps, people are here to pursue their dreams and go for what they want; including the man they want. Now I'm not saying that in the UK there is a complete absence of this approach to life but when it comes to women being the power players in the whole dating game, I think New York can teach us a few lessons.

Let me start at the beginning: before I came out here I was completing my masters and for my research paper I conducted focus group sessions which touched on the topic of relationships and dating. When discussing whether it was appropriate for a woman to pursue a guy, with the all-female group there were cries of "no that's not how a woman should act, why should she make it easy for the guy, she's going to give the impression that she's sexually loose, if the guy didn't have to work for it then he's never going to make an effort, no guy would respect a woman like that" - etc etc you get the message right? On the flip side, the guys seemed to think that there was nothing wrong with this (yeah I bet!). Instead they found it attractive that the female was going for what she wanted, they said that it showed she was confident and it would not necessarily lead to them having less respect for her. Now you could say that maybe I picked a conservative group of girls here or maybe the boys' opinions are not truly reflective of the male population, however even over the years speaking with females in particular it seems that most of us have picked up these dating rules and codes of conduct that we are encouraged to live by. Take a flight to NY and these rules are basically redundant - there's a new sheriff in town and he's called "Purlease...You Better Go Get Your Man!" But why the difference in attitude?

There seems to be two types of men I have come across in NY - I hate to generalise but in the interest of time and my wish to avoid repetitive strain injury from typing so much I'm going to get out my boxes and throw you all into one or the other, ok guys? First type is the super-fast dude who doesn't beat around the bush, let's you know exactly what they want from you - and its not usually a nice 'respectable' date - and if you're not on the same page, after trying to entice you with a few camera phone pics (that's another post altogether, I think I'll let Miss X take care of that one), they usually get the message and move on. Then you have the nice guy, cool personality, open to taking you out for some frozen yogurt but one problem - he is super sloooooooooooooow: one word BBM conversations, constant text messaging that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, goes missing for a few days then reappears as keen as ever. I have come to the conclusion that these guys that feature so heavily in the stories I hear on a daily basis are not playing some twisted game of hard to get - they are just lazy! Put it down to the statistics (or the heavily publicised myth) that in the US women heavily outnumber the amount of available men and there you go: you have a sought after guy with so many options he can just sit back and chill while the women fight it out. Some might say that perhaps we need to go back and watch the film 'He's Just Not That Into You' but I think this might just explain why the women I see over here throw two fingers up to the rule book: if they see something they like, they go get it because it sure isn't going to chase them! Just today, I saw a guy get on the subway carriage, he was looking at a girl in a way that I assumed he was attracted to her but he didn't say one word, just stared. She was looking at him too, so she SUMMONED him over, started talking to him, laughing and joking (it was so sweet!) then SHE took his number while he walked off smiling like he just scored a touchdown. How times have changed and I'm not necessarily knocking it. Some of you are probably shouting at the computer screen saying 'well it's the 21st century, who says a woman can't do that, why are you so shocked, women can be powerful and in control, so what?' Others might be questioning this idea of power; if a man can now sit back while the woman makes all the moves, then in actuality who is the one in control? Either way, I've found it interesting seeing the differences in attitudes...not entirely sure that I'm up for this new game though, let's hope for beginners luck eh?

I Just Wanna Be...Successful

2010-10-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by a tweet by the very talented UK Hip Hop artist 'AKS' (he is also a fellow blogger over at NothingMoreNothingLess).

"Whilst watchin da MOBOs I was filled wid emotion @ da realisation dat my aspirations no longer include receiving accolades in such fashion...the appeal of chasing the glitz and glamour of industry and its approval has worn off."

Some might say that he just sabotaged himself in that one day he might actually want a MOBO or a BRIT or some other institutional prize, but I take his tweets to mean that while they may be flattering and deserved, they are no longer his sole pursuit. This, along with what I have seen, read and heard over the last couple of weeks, made me think about what it means to be 'successful' and what do people have in mind when they are pursuing 'success'.

Over the years, my interpretation has changed numerous times; as a teen success to me meant working for a great company, later on as my ambitions and mind expanded, success meant being self-employed and achieving my ambition which extended to travel and other experiences. While this still is true, I have realised that success comes in a variety of forms, it's not all about work and external motivations; I want to be successful as a mother, wife, sister, friend and as a person - someone who is honest, has integrity and is selfless. In all honesty, I am still learning what being successful in each of the above categories entails but the point is that the typical images of success such as career achievement, fame, money, who you know, respect from others, awards and recognition can actually cloud our vision in the other areas of our lives where focus and attention is needed.

But with the media having such a large impact, we are faced with these typical images of success all the time, from music videos, reality television, magazines and even at award ceremonies. Just the other day while watching a 'reality' show and listening to the characters get into a hissy fit over the most trivial 'he said-she said' issue, I said to myself "Really?! Honey you have way too much time on your hands". Despite the money, the fame, the 'success' I found myself rolling my eyes - this is definitely not the "success and all its trappings" that I aspire to. Now I am nobody to turn my nose up at someone else and their lifestyle but like AKS, I think that it's time that ambitions are re-evaluated and people question what success means to them and more importantly why they want to be successful - to help others, self fulfilment, status? I know what my answer is. What's yours?

The Pursuit of Happiness..in the Opposite Sex

2010-10-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

Yes yes yes, it's been a while since my last post so I bet all of you got tired of checking back to see if I had written something new, or maybe you were not even that bothered (Kanye shrug). Either way after the stressful season of coming to the end of my masters, dissertation deadline and planning and packing for my 3 month NY/US break, I am now finally settled and ready to pay FantasyRide some much needed attention!

Something that has been on my mind ever since I landed here in NY is the heavy focus on being a two-some, one half of a couple, no longer a solo act. Yes there are glossy mags in the UK talking about the latest hook ups and power couples but over here it seems that it is emphasized even more. From TV shows such as 'The Bachelor' and E! News constantly reporting on the plight of 'poor old Jennifer Aniston' having nobody to cuddle up with at night to attending an event and seeing the embarrassing looks on the faces of those who had the audacity to turn up without a plus 1; being single is a disease pure and simple, one that most people are trying to avoid. Even Twitter-land co-signs this belief; a tweet saying that any woman who says that she is happy being single is talking 'bull****' received so many retweets from men I was like 'Really?' (Wendy William's voice) 'Really? Do y'all think you're oxygen, that women can't breathe without you? Do you think that all women are desperate for a man to define their happiness?' Now I am not denying the warm, fuzzy feelings that being in a relationship can bring and I do believe that love with another person is an amazing blessing, but does that make it superior to being single?

This interest of mine has been heightened by a book my sister Steph gave me to read on my travels (clap for yourself, you get a shout out-that doesn't happen very often on here). It's called 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' and is by a young man called Joshua Harris. Now before you get your knickers in a twist and commence the bra burning, it isn't a female-empowerment-feminist-self-help kind of book but in it Harris describes how the traditional rules and rituals of dating can actually lead us down a path of unnecessary emotional turmoil and regret and instead proposes alternative methods. What actually stood out to me the most in the book is how Harris describes being single; not as a curse and a realm to leave as soon as possible but instead a moment in your life that you should be thankful for and utilise to the fullest. He has a point; singledom is a time where you have no attachments, no strings, no stresses diverting your attention from your other priorities in life whether that be your relationship with God, career goals and even your friendships with others. You can take the time to travel and see the world, develop important skills, focus on your business plan minus the distractions or concentrate on your growth as a person so that you are complete in yourself without feeling that someone else is going to complete you. Now it could be argued that you can still do all of this while still being in a relationship; what's the point of having all of these amazing experiences if you don't have anyone to share them with? But can you honestly say that you are paying all of the activities listed above their full attention without compromising a little? Compromising your standards just to be able to double date, compromising your career goals just because you can't bear to be away from your other half for too long, compromising your friendships and other personal relationships because you have limited time to share with them because your focus is all on one person. I'm not flipping the script here and promoting the idea that being single is now superior to being in a relationship -there are benefits of both - I'm just saying that being single isn't a situation that should be handled with rubber gloves and an anti-infection mask!

In perfect harmony with my thoughts over the last few weeks, friend and gorgeous fellow Bloggers Delight member Amber aka Phresh Mentality has written a poem titled 'Single' which you can hear her recite over at MTV's The Wrap Up. Made me smile and I'm sure you will too!

What are your thoughts? Did Phresh Mentality hit a nerve, if you're afraid to be alone does that make you insecure, why is there a large focus on being in a relationship, what's wrong with being single, when a girl says that she's happy being single is she really just lying to herself?

"I'm Attracted to His Personality"...yeah right!

2010-07-05T07:45:00.001-07:00

One of my favourite programmes Dating in the Dark is back for a second series on Living TV. If you've never seen it, basically it's a 'social experiment' where strangers take part in a series of dating activities with members of the opposite sex - but all in the dark. At the end of these tasks, they have the option to pick someone to see in the light - cue hilarious facial expressions and intakes of breath when they find out that the person they have been canoodling with in the dark room is the spitting image of Sideshow Bob...or if you're lucky, David Beckham (dreamy exhale!). Finally, contestants then have to decide if they want to be reunited with the person and ride off into the sunset hand in hand...also known as a ride in the back of black cab to the nearest Wetherspoons. Here is a clip of Ellie deciding between the charming Ryan and the arrogant, cocky, thinks-he's-God's-Gift Eddie...should be an easy choice shouldn't it?

So despite having a great personality and really connecting with Ryan, Ellie picks Eddie even though she even stated herself that he wasn't exactly a nice guy. When speaking to my girls, this is a common topic of conversation - females going after bad boys, nice guys finishing last, not having that so called 'spark'. Yet we complain that the guys we choose end up being the biggest idiots on planet Earth. Yes, I would say that it's all about finding a balance of personality and someone that you're attracted to, but that plan doesn't always work out. Can you be with someone you are not physically attracted to but give it a go because you really connect? Does physical attraction have to play a central role or can it work if you're simply attracted to their personality? Does it make you shallow if you turn someone away because you don't like the way they look? Can you become attracted to someone you didn't previously find attractive - can you learn to love that pot belly, bald patch and the one-eye-bigger than the other?

When talking to mother dearest about her younger days and how she fell for my Dad, she always says she was attracted to his personality, how he gave the impression that he was ambitious, a hard worker and most importantly for her, would do absolutely anything to see his children happy. Was she physically attracted to him, yes I guess so but according to her there were a lot of handsome men vying for her attention (my mum is a gorgeous saucy minx by the way) but she chose my Dad for the qualities previously mentioned. I have adopted that same attitude, like mother like daughter (including the gorgeous saucy minx part!) but if I'm honest attraction still plays a large part in whether I give someone a go or not. Is it because we're living in different times where the emphasis on physicality is a lot more prominent in society? Maybe for my mother, coming from a small village in Ghana, West Africa where there were not a great deal of opportunities available, she was attracted to someone who would be a good partner in providing her future children with the needed support to be successful in life; her priorities were different. Maybe it's because nowadays in the culture we live in there are a lot more options; everything is disposable, everything can be upgraded - including your partner. I guess there are a lot of reasons but it does make me think that our preoccupation with the physical means that we are actually missing out on an awful lot. Maybe our modern society and culture is not the best recipe for a Happily Ever After after all.

What are your thoughts; have you ever dated someone you are not attracted to and more interestingly, have you grown to find them attractive as time went on?

Fashion's Inspiration

2010-06-09T12:22:00.001-07:00

I know, I know, it's a bit late for a Sex and the City inspired post but this has got a little bit of a twist to it. So reading the reviews, Twitter and numerous blog posts and comments, I guess it is safe to say that quite a few people were not too keen on the scene where the Muslim women took off their burkas to reveal pieces from this years Fall collection!! While the intended message was probably along the lines of "fashion is global and touches women worldwide", it could be seen as condescending - "look at us Muslim women, we're just like you westerners underneath our burkas, we look up to you, you inspire us, yay Louis Vuitton!" However, that's not exactly the real story now is it. If you remember The Devil Wears Prada and Miranda Priestly's fantastic monologue when Andy commented on the two belts looking exactly the same: it's not blue, it's cerulean, fashion isn't just 'stuff', it inspires but most importantly of all, it is inspired. My point here is that London, New York, Paris and the designs on fashion catwalks worldwide take inspiration from the rest of the world. Case in point; Marc by Marc Jacobs' 'tribal' inspired jumpsuit:

Now all you Africans raise your hands if you remember your mother wearing a 'tribal' wrapper around the house, baby on her back optional (Michelle raises hand). Oh and who could forget, in 2007 the infamous 'Ghana Must Go' bags made their way onto the catwalk at a Louis Vuitton show.
So yes, fashion inspiration comes from all over the world but if countries in places like Africa and Asia can breed so much inspiration, why aren't their fashion industries internationally known and recognised? Lack of networks, resources, a number of reasons, some obvious, some implicit, some too deep and political to go into here but there are many people and organisations working to change the tide and invest in its development.

One of them is Nigerian UK based stylist and fashonista Arieta Mujay who is launching Fashion Camp, a week of fashion seminars for fashion savvy teenagers teenagers aged 13-18. The first of its kind in Lagos, Nigeria, FC aims to help teenagers with an interest in fashion learn and understand the ins and the outs of the industry. With the help of Biki John, another UK based Nigerian stylist and fashion writer, the week long fashion seminars will include classes on photography, styling, the art of design, fashion PR, blogging as well as visuals and graphics. Through this, FC hopes to paint a precise picture that shows how both African and contemporary fashion have evolved and what lies ahead for the future. In collaboration with Deola Sagoe, FC hopes to be the first of its kind and the beginning of a partnership that will benefit the next creative generation in Nigeria.

Fashion Camp is due to take place 2nd - 8th of August. For more information, you can contact arietafashionista@gmail.com.

Sounds like a great initiative, Good Luck!

Miley Cyrus and Lucky Number 17!

2010-05-21T04:05:00.000-07:00

So not long ago, teen sensation Miley Cyrus revealed her new video and 'new direction' for Can't Be Tamed. She certainly shouted as loud as she could that she is trying to distance herself from the sugar-pop-sweet-as-pie-Hannah-Montana-persona that she is so famous for.

At age 17 it could be argued that yes she's growing up, experimenting, it's what artists do. This is the trend - Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson - you hit lucky number 17, (18 or 19 depending on your record company but not too old now, 20 is pushing it) and its time to get naked...because of course that's what growing up means, getting naked and dancing erotically; the interview-friendly response is 'exploring my femininity/sexuality and all that jazz.

When did this become the norm and why does it have to be this way? I do sympathise with pop stars in that they are often pulled in a million directions by management and record labels in pursuit of millions, plus they have the burden of being placed in a box, one that sells but is not necessarily their true identity and what they stand for. Yes, Miley is growing up and having the Hannah Montana label is one she has grown out of, however the question is since Hannah Montana gave Miley a legion of fans that were core to her success in the first place, does she still have the responsibility to them in that her songs and image remain 'appropriate'? Ok, some could argue that the 7 or 8 year olds that watched Hannah Montana have grown up with her so its not that bad, however Hannah Montana first aired in 2006 so these 7-8 year olds are still only 11 and 12 years old.

There is the constant debate of the media and other influences in society sexualizing our children but I'm trying to figure out where does the responsibility lie - is it with the artist, the key players in the entertainment industry who push these sexual ideologies or is it with the parents who should control what their children watch, read and listen to? This is not coming from an old prude here, very much the opposite but I sometimes worry about my younger siblings and my future children and whether I'll be able to even allow them to switch on the television at all! Ah, reminiscing about when I was younger....I guess now Steps and S Club 7 don't seem so bad after all.

All About the Ladies

2010-04-21T06:04:00.000-07:00

So The Hills is coming to the end (insert sad face). Although I admit the last series sans Lauren was not the best, since its first airing in 2006 I have loved absolutely every moment of bitchiness, Justin Bobby drama, falling out of hate and into 'like' with Lo, Brody's on-again-off-again facial hair and "You Know What You Did"/"Spencer's a sucky person!"/"Well get out of my car" catfights. Just thinking of all the fun moments puts a smile on my face!

But along with The Hills came an aspirational lifestyle. No, I didn't want to rush out, get a tan and eat nothing but sushi and salad for the rest of my life, but the fashion, exciting careers, going out with the girlies, weekend breaks to Miami and Vegas...it highlighted how fun (and drama-packed) being young, hot and single actually is. I went to a screening for the new series of The City last year and it was really evident the influence The Hills and The City had on young girls and their friendships: packs of three to four girls stood around sipping mocktails, Lauren Conrad clones with their sweet little french braids running down the side of their head and blazers and high heels galore. To them, they were The Hills; each group had someone who represented each character in the show (I'm a Whitney Port by the way)!

LAME I hear you cry....yes probably. But it's not just The Hills I'm talking about. Sex and The City has had a HUGE impact on women, how they see themselves, how they see each other and how they see their friendships. Now you can't tell me that you have never once thought of whether you were a Carrie, or more like a Samantha (saucy minx you!), or maybe a mix of Miranda and Charlotte? With the second instalment of the movie out in a few weeks and advance tickets flying off the shelves, it makes me wonder: do we enjoy programmes like these because they imitate our friendships OR do we enjoy these shows because they help us to mould them? (Typing that just now, I felt so much like Carrie on her laptop haha!)

You can't deny that Sex and the City has played a role in the number of friendship groups actually going for brunch now, who instead of ordering their usual rum and coke now order a Mojito, where spa days and perving on hot men are always on the agenda. Yes, friendships and the female species were around way before Sex and the City and The Hills came along but these much loved shows appear to have shaken up the rules of the game a little.

So now that The Hills is about to bid farewell and Sex and The City is already off our screens, what do we do now???!

Get a room....or just away from me!

2010-03-25T04:59:00.000-07:00

Confessions of a Hopeless Romantic: one of my ultimate pet peeves are public displays of affection. It's very strange as I do love romance, I believe in happy endings and I'm still waiting for Brad and Jennifer to lock eyes on the red carpet, come to their senses and passionately make out like there's no tomorrow. But in my every day life, walking down the street, on the underground, at a restaurant or at a club, I do not want to see OR HEAR a tounge wrestling match ok! "Turn away" I hear you say, "don't look then", but that doesn't get rid of that revolting, smacking, saliva-slurping sound I can hear behind me. The very thought of it right now is turning my face sour. And before you ask, no I am not miserable (well not all the time) and neither do I live alone in a one bedroom flat with only my black and white cat for company.

Recently, Simon Cowell was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and he actually kissed his fiancee, proving that he is a softie after all. Contrary to my usual reaction, I didn't go 'eeeww', it was more of an 'ah'. And that's because it was just a sweet little peck. So no, put your daggers away, I'm not completely closed off to men showing emotion and affection - hell yeah they should! To me it's very important in a relationship and doing it in public shows that you are proud of your partner and you don't care what others think because she or he is all that matters. But when you do a Tom Cruise, then come on, really?! Now you're just showing off.

So to all you 'show offs, can't keep my hands off my lover, don't have a room to relieve this tension in, hey look at me i'm not single any more, hey look at you - aren't you sad that you are single' people....get out of my face.....please. Thanks.

2010: Officially the Year of The Jump-Off

2010-02-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

I'm slightly disturbed that nowadays, being the leading lady in a man's life is no longer the spot that chicks aim for. Gone are the times when it was all about getting to that wifey position, being the Queen B and getting all the perks that come along with holding the top status. But why toil night and day trying to get that ring on your finger when you can get all the benefits a wifey does, plus a magazine deal, a new car for your birthday, your love-children taken care of and maybe even a cash settlement or two?!

I remember the days when being a jump-off, the side-piece, the groupie or simply put 'the other woman' wasn't exactly something to be proud of. You would try and keep that info on the downlow. Well not in 2010! How many females stake a claim to being L'il Wayne's babymother???? And they will all happily cheese together in a picture like they just had a sleepover and compared notes! Sorry, but any mention of 'multiple women' can't go by without Tiger getting a name drop. His mistresses felt no way to capitalize off of his 'indiscretions' (love that word!) and make their faces and antics known to the whole world. Kim Porter, Sarah Chapman, and Misa Hylton go at it to determine which of their children by Diddy is going to get the most expensive blinged-out birthday cake (eye roll) - when will this nonsense end, get a grip ladies! I remember Snoop Dogg's wife Shante in a documentary about Hip Hop Wives on E! taunting Snoop's groupies by singing "He's mine, you might have had him once but I got him all the time". Looks like these ladies are singing right back "He's yours but let's keep it real, your joint account is paying all of my bills!"

Does this trend translate to outside of the entertainment world? Are girls nowadays settling for side piece titles, friends with benefits, is it worth the hassle to strive for wifey status anymore?

Er...and Who Are You?

2010-02-02T02:13:00.000-08:00

The award season is among us and I have been doing what I love best - watching the red carpet for those fabulous designer gowns. Actress Diane Kruger is a fashion LOVE - she always kills it and Ellie Saab joins the list of my fave designers. Apart from watching the fashion, it's a great time for people watching too - the 'a-ha, he's got different arm candy this year', the 'is she pregnant?', and the 'what the hell happened to her face?!' Just love it, it's the old nosey woman in me!

However, something has disturbed me this year, it's the 'Er....and who are you?'. Awards like the Globes, Oscars, Grammys are supposed to highlight the creme de la creme of music artists and actors in the entertainment biz. So why on earth did I see THOSE kids from Jersey Shore on the Grammy Red Carpet yesterday. For those who don't watch Jersey Shore, click here for a cringe-inducing clip.

Just goes to show the society we live in when anyone can become a 'celebrity' no matter how they get their 15 minutes. Rachel Uchitel, one of Tiger's many conquests was paid to host an event under the title of 'Celebrity Socialite'. For the UK readers, I bet you John Terry's mistress is gonna get herself a presenting gig on This Morning any day now. I think the A-Z list celebrity rating scale needs some more categories because that celeb title is getting treated like a whore - passed round to every Tom, Dick, Harry...Nicola T, Chico, Deelishes, Jedward -who's on your list?

Hey Oscars, I'm a blogger, more than 20 people know my name, my invite's in the post right?!

Having Fun vs Sin...Round One...FIGHT!

2010-01-23T06:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday (Friday 22), Steven Baldwin and sweetheart Sisqo were evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House - now is the time to stop watching, the house is going to be dead! Watching Stephen's exit interview with Davina, I was slightly annoyed. Yes, Stephen was preachy in the house but kudos to him for representing and standing up for his faith. But I got the impression that Davina was trying to trip him up with comments implying that Stephen was going against what he preached by partaking in 'naughty' activities like smoking a cigarette and playing along with the pranks going on in the house. Hello!! Being a believer in God and the words in the Bible does not mean that you are exempt from all social and fun activities. All things in moderation and treat your body as a temple so perhaps smoking was not a good idea but Stephen already stated that he was not a smoker, hence using the quote about 'moderation' when explaining himself to Vinnie. Also, from my own understanding, God wants his followers to have fun, enjoy His creations and laugh and smile as long as it does not compromise their faith. Should Stephen just have sat in the corner reading the Bible refusing to laugh at jokes and take part in the social activities? It annoys me that Christians are often portrayed as aliens who cannot do anything fun and if they do, they are classified as hypocrites...nonsense in my opinion. What's yours?

Forever Young....I wanna be forever young...

2010-01-12T09:34:00.001-08:00

Skins, Misfits, The Inbetweeners, Gossip Girl, 90210 and now Glee....you see a pattern here. These programmes either feature or are aimed at the teen demographic. It's really tricky to get teens interested in television full stop, with numerous distractions ranging from 'LOL' and 'SMH' texting to MySpacing and Facebooking their lives away. However, these programmes have managed to capture as well as maintain the interest of the young, cool crowd and along the way have picked up a few...well a load of...how can I say it - mature followers, myself included. With my age almost at that halfway point between the young and naive twenties and the 'yes-Mum,-I-know-my-biological-clock-is-ticking-30s, I find myself tuning to the antics of drunk-fuelled, sex-crazed, bitchy-drama-loving and ever so entertaining adolescents that grace our screens on a weekly basis.

So how have these shows attracted so many viewers who are old enough to remember when leg warmers were the ish the first time around? I guess you could put it down to nostalgia - they reminds us of a time when we didn't have bills to pay or have to put up with being under the armpit of a sweaty man on the Monday morning journey to work. OR perhaps it's because our society places so much emphasis on youth nowadays so we ended up living, or re-living our best years vicariously through E4. Look at me, 24 and I already think that i'm past it! Well not really, but it seems like that's the message the media and society pushes out on a regular basis. So if you can't beat em, join em. I'll definitely be tuning in to see what my adult life is missing.

Embarrassed by the beat of our own drum...

2009-12-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

This is now old news but I was shocked to hear that the Cadbury advert (with the Zingolo song I can't seem to get out of my head) received complaints for being racist! Cadbury were cleared of any wrong-doing and rightly so in my opinion. When I first saw the advert, I couldn't stop smiling because Ghana is my home country and it was great to see a positive depiction of Africa for once aside from those "For £2 A Month" adverts.

So when I heard that people were actually offended due to the use of "racial stereotypes", I had serious 'rolling of the eyes' action going on. "Racial sterotypes"?!?!? Was the nose on the mask too big? Were the people in the village dancing too wildly? Were the people in the village too black? That was a traditional African street party if I ever saw one so it leads me to think that these cries of racism are in fact outcries of embarrassment. This is OUR culture. Deal with it! Are you embarrassed because now Paul from the office is finally going to realise you are an African and that posh, restrained, "I was born in England" cover you had for the last 5 years is blown? To be accepted in this country, people adapt, different faces and demeanors for different situations, I fully understand that. But when faced with our history, culture, tradition, ethnicity - it's no longer time to hide behind that British passport. I think we should accept it, embrace it and thank Cadbury's for showing the colourful, vibrant side of Africa that I know and love.

Black British, Black African or Mixed? Tick your box...

2009-11-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

As part of Channel 4's Race and Science season, 'Is It Better To Be Mixed Race?' went on a 'scientific' journey to find out whether coming from a mixed gene pool is actually better that being born from parents who are from the same genetic pool, i.e. same country. It went on to conclude that it is better to a certain degree as it means that the individual is not as susceptible to certain diseases that are prone in certain races e.g. diabetes in Black and Asian communities. They also noted that lifestyle also plays a major role.

With the mixed race population in the UK growing at an incredible rate, is there the risk that the hubbub of cultures that are present today will simply disappear? Arguments against mixed race relationships include that there is a dilution of culture and tradition where unique country-specific traits are lost as each new mixed race generation steps forward. This argument even extends to relationships between individuals within the same race but differences lie in the country they come from and the religion they practice e.g. Nigeria and Jamaica or Hinduism and Islam....come on, some time or another, I suppose a few us have had our parents look us sternly in the eye and say "You can marry whoever you like....as long as they are from (fill in the blank with appropriate country...your own!)."

In some ways I can understand, especially with parents who are not from the U.K and have strong ties to their country, village and even church back home. Living in the UK and having children who are from a place entirely different to them, I can understand their fear that if their children fully adapt to the British way of life and then have children who do not have strong cultural influences in their lives, the culture and everything they believe in will die.

Personally, I am all for the mix and blend. Just because you date outside of your culture and country, it doesn't necessarily mean that you lose this element that is often so embedded in your personality and way you behave. I have had plenty of Aunties who have suddenly turned up to an African party with an 'Uncle Barry' on their arm, complete with cockney accent and all. She didn't lose her culture, in fact they just embraced each others. If you love your culture then you should have no trouble keeping it alive.

What are your thoughts? Is it a big deal to marry inside of your country of origin and culture? Even though being mixed may be best for our health, is it best for our identity?

Little White Lies...

2009-10-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted to see 'The Invention of Lying' last week...but I was a pushover and saw District 9 instead! Anywho, 'The Invention of Lying' sees Ricky Gervais' character living in a world where no-one lies, not even little white ones. Then luckily for him, he discovers that he has the ability to bend the truth and the world becomes his oyster.

Just watching the trailer I thought not only would it be hilarious if everyone told the absolute truth but also how refreshing it might actually be. We have become a nation of 'white liars' - sometimes to get ourselves out of trouble e.g. "Nah it's not that I forgot to call you, it's just that I fell asleep. That's different". Or sometimes to spare someone's feelings e.g. "Yes of course he likes you Sherice, he probably just fell asleep, it's not like he forgot to call you. That's different".

I have a friend that, how can I say it, doesn't really mince his words and I used get on him about that...but what's really wrong with telling people how it is. My issue is when people lack tact. Yes, you can tell someone that their breath stinks so they should back up, but there is a way that you do that in order to minimise the stab of pain to the heart they will feel as a result.

How great would it be though: people wouldn't play mind games in relationships, you could tell your boss he's a twat and he'd probably agree with you and you could finally tell your best friend that her weave is seriously not working for her. All without sugar coating - it would save us all a lot of time and brainpower. One thing for sure is that we'd all need to develop thicker skins!

Say what you feel or add a coating of sugar or two? What type are you?

Is it really that unbeweavable?

2009-09-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you know me then you will know how much I love Top Model and Tyra Banks especially. Last week, season five of her Emmy award winning programme 'The Tyra Banks Show' premiered surrounded by much hype. After years of being seen in wigs, weaves and extensions, she revealed to the world her 'real hair'...and proved to everyone that contrary to belief, she is not bald! Click here to see what she had hiding under those Asia-imported lace fronts (select the clip titled "Oscar Works Magic On Tyra's Real Hair').

The issue about hair has been around for a long time but more recently it has been propelled into the spotlight by Chris Rock's 'Good Hair' documentary, which was screened at the Sundance Festival and will soon receive a nationwide release in the States. Not too long ago Tyra also did an episode titled 'What is Good Hair?', addressing the issues that African American women have with the natural texture of their hair. If you have some time to spare, I would recommend watching this as some of the points raised are both interesting and also slightly disturbing, especially when listening to the thoughts of the young girls featured. For example, one child considers 'nappy' hair to symbolise lower class and one mother actually chemically relaxes the hair of her three year old daughter!

While there are many theories about black women wanting to change their appearance to be more acceptable to society and issues about deep rooted self hatred, I'm not going to go there. The question I am asking here is how much is hair simply a style choice and how much is it something that defines who you are?

People are always talking about the pros and cons of wearing a weave and last year, my friend over at No Work All Play did a hilarious blog post about the Weave Epidemic. While he has a point about maintenance, to me, hair is just the stuff on the top of your head. While I have never seen anything wrong with wearing a weave, extensions or hair pieces I have never had a weave, only ever had tracks in once (which I didn't like) and extensions probably twice. I've cut my hair to four inches long, coloured it numerous times and retouch it every 6 weeks. I see hair as an accessory. The same way I may want a pair of funky coloured shoes is the same way I would want a different hair style every so often. Yes, hair can be a reflection of my current mood or an image but at the end of the day I'm still me; I still love watching corny rom-coms and fashion programmes on TV, I still get annoyed by slow-walking people on Oxford Street, I still want a husband and three kids - I don't change...but the way I am perceived does.

Some may argue that hair is a reflection of a person. Along with clothes, it communicates an image to others. But come on, we all know that image is just that - something projected to the outside world that doesn't necessarily mirror our personality and stance on life - that's the job of our character, identified by what we say and do. But does this make hair, clothes and image any less important? Is how you are perceived critical to well being, love, life and success?

Unfortunately, I would say a huge yes! In our society, this is how initial judgements are made. There's not always time for second impressions. A couple of years back Glamour magazine in the States was involved in a little bit of controversy when an article about office do and don'ts highlighted that wearing an afro to work would be seen as unprofessional. While that person with an afro could have the most professional conduct on the entire floor, this goes to show how far society goes to make judgements on a person based on their hair. Nowadays, you can look around a club and decide on a girl or guy's personality without even speaking to them. Look, the girl in the Beyonce weave is fake and high maintenance, better steer clear of that one. Oh look at the one with the Rihanna hair cut....uh uh, she looks like she will smash up my car if I dare miss a call from her. Wow, look at that guy's sharp, precise shape up...he might just be batting for the other team. And the girl with the natural beaded hair....I bet she doesn't shave her legs. Absolute nonsense, I know but we all do it.

Watching the Tyra clip especially, there is the belief that relaxing your hair, wearing a weave etc gives the perception that you are ashamed of your black culture. Are you more proud to be Black, White, Hispanic or Asian if you wear your hair in its natural state? This is not just a 'black thing'. People with straight hair may have a perm to make their hair unnaturally curly...does this mean that they are trying to run away from their heritage. Or is it different just because black people have a reason to be running away? Does relaxing my hair mean that I am less proud of my heritage than someone who keeps it natural? I could be someone who can speak an African language, have travelled to the 'motherland', talk to my work colleagues about my culture and can cook the food but standing next to someone who wears their 'real hair', to some people I am perceived as not embracing my culture.

Long, short, afro, relaxed, weave, extensions, coloured whatever. It's just hair. Outward appearances are always going to be judged but its about letting your integrity and character shine through...and its always nice to prove people wrong.

You're Beautiful, Woman - and you're smart too!

2009-08-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

A couple of Saturdays ago, I attended 'You're Beautiful, Woman', an annual event that aims to motivate and inspire women to recognise their beauty and self worth in every avenue of their lives. There was definitely a lot going on from makeovers in the beauty room, cosmic energy coaching, hypnotherapy, massage therapists and seminars on a range of topics including The Secret Life of Hair (advising attendees about where that Beyonce lace front actually comes from) and Radical Leap Coaching (encouraging women to equip themselves with 'good baggage' - the skills needed to fulfil all of those ambitions).

Good Influence Therapy

Kemi Bespoke Artistry - bridal makeup, fashion, editorial, makeup classes

Rosebudden aka Crystal Ogbogo - freelance make-up artist. Worked at the Matthew Williamson show at London Fashion Week 2008.

What really excited me about this event was the marketplace. This was a room full of stands exhibiting a range of products and services:

The Marketplace

Soutarri - online jewellery store. They also offer jewellery making classes and will be going into secondary schools from September to work with children who are experiencing difficulties, possibly inspiring them to be creative, sociable and develop a hobby.

Alexandra Galleries - online art gallery, event listing and source for African American prints, posters and original art.

The Salad Master - a healthy eating cooking system. By the way, that delicious chocolate cake you see on the right was made using all the vegetables you see in the Salad Master. No word of a lie - healthy chocolate cake! And it tasted great!

Pebbles Wearable Art - made to measure authentic clothing maintaining the uniqueness of African fashion.

What excited me was the entrepreneurship of the women in the room. Ethnic minorities in the UK are increasingly stepping out on their own to be their own boss and it is promising to see so many women identifying gaps and opportunities to make money instead of waiting on that monthly paycheck. In the media, you rarely see examples of entrepreneurial females and if you do, it is usually one example alongside a line-up of middle aged men. Deborah Meaden, Michelle Mone, Karren Brady, Elisabeth Murdoch - all examples of females who have achieved recognised success in the world of entrepreneurship but I struggle to name a well-known woman of colour in the UK (let me know if you can name any). But my point here is that the culture of black female entrepreneurship does exist and this event was an inspiration to me. Seeing confident women doing what I want to do with my life - spend my days working for a cause I am passionate about - gives the extra boost that I and many other females need in order to take that daunting step from 'employed' to 'self-employed'. Women are stepping up and in a few years time, hopefully I won't be struggling to name names!

TREND ALERT: The new therapy

2009-08-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

Forget about shaving one side of your head, forget wearing leggins with short tops and you can definitely forget about getting a Blackberry on your new upgrade. Apparantly, to be on trend and with the 'in-crowd', you need to sign up to a social networking or video streaming site, sit down in front of your laptop....and then have an emotional breakdown. Webcam is optional. It's as easy as that!

Over the last few weeks, we've seen the explosion of this new trend. Certain celebrities have been turning to their computers instead of their psychiatrists and putting their emotional oubursts out there for all to see. First there was Soulja Boy feeling pressures of the music industry and 'expressing' himself via Twitter. Then Bow Wow got a little 'attention-envy' and wrote a suicidal-note-like message, again using Twitter. Next was another member of the young Hollywood crew, Teyana Taylor, who when reading both love and hate messages from the public, couldn't contain her "tears of joy". Most recently, American basketball player Stephon Marbury broke down while listening to a Kirk Franklin track - all with his webcam switched on.

All the examples above signal some deeper emotional issues that need to be dealt with, but what happened to writing in a diary, talking to your best friend or ahem...seeking professional help? Now the obvious explanation for all of this is that these are cries for attention. People in the limelight tend to have that performance gene, they thrive putting on a show and receiving that round of applause from the crowd before they take a bow. Perhaps, after a while this recognition from the public becomes more like personal validation and they start to constantly seek it in order to feel good about themselves, relying on it even to maintain their self-esteem.

But before we all jump on their backs yelling "low self esteem, fame-hungry, losers", are they that much different from all the 'regular' people on Twitter, Facebook and bloggers? Ok, while not all shed tears, I have personally witnessed Facebook status posts reading "I've had enough", "Why is this happening" and "I can't take this anymore". On a couple of occasions I've been close to replying with the number for the Samaritans! Twitter, the same, people post up their thoughts, opinions and feelings for other people to read. Do tweeters feel validation when somone replies to their post, agrees with them, retweets what they said or even follows them? They probably do. So does this also fit in the 'cry for attention' box? And bloggers - I know I'm talking about myself when I say this but is this blogging world a place where we become celebrities ourselves? Ok, no-one is going to be showing their house in the pages of OK magazine anytime soon, but as you gain more followers, people begin to recognise your name and blogs start to be taken more seriously a pieces of journalism, is it JUST about writing about the topics you are interested in? Isn't it also about the public recognition and acceptance? If it was just about the writing, then we'd all be blogging anonymously right!?!

Let's put it down to self-expression - its a way to air your views and speak your mind. However, where do we draw the line? At what point do we go "hey, I'm gonna keep this private, its way too personal to put out there". Is talking going to become redundant as we all become a nation of status posts? It's just something I've been thinking about. Social networks and other online broadcasting tools seem to be blurring the lines of friendships, privacy and what should and shouldn't be said or shown. So with a new outlet for 'self-expression', whether its micro-blogging via Twitter, vlogging via YouTube or just setting up your own page, who needs a therapist?

Would love to hear your thoughts: tweeters, Facebookers, Bloggers, why do it and where do you draw the line?

Pat Younge on diversity in the television industry

2009-07-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

Hey
On Monday, I attended an evening with Patrick Younge hosted by presenter and journalist Krishnan Guru-Murthy. Pat has recently been appointed as the Chief Creative Officer of BBC Vision, making him the most highly placed figure from a minority background in the television industry. This event was also the launch of the British Black and Asian Programme Maker's Collective, aka The TV Collective. Their aim is to provide a network where people can debate, showcase ideas, support and brainstorm ways of tackling the issue of diversity in television and the event on Monday was a sign of great things to come. With growing support from the industry including former MP Oona King, who is now Head of Diversity at Channel 4, I guess now is the time for action.

Pat has had a long career working in television and most recently headed up The Travel Channel in the United States. In his new role at the BBC, he will be responsible for comedy, drama, entertainment and children, with shows including Strictly Come Dancing, Doctor Who, Top Gear and EastEnders in his control. At last year's Edinburgh Television Festival, he famously remarked that diversity targets should be like financial targets and if people failed to hit them, then they should be fired. With this strong desire to make the industry less white and middle class, it will be interesting to see if there are any visible changes both at the BBC and in television in general over the next few years.

Here are the key points/learnings I gained from the evening:

Diversity is not only limited to race, although it is often the first thing that comes to mind. The television industry needs to be more inclusive in terms of gender, culture, age, disabilities and probably most importantly class. The industry is still regarded as one full of Cambridge and Oxford types, who have the insider information, knowledge of the unwritten rules and industry contacts that people from working class communities, (white working class included) do not have. This is a major barrier that needs to be challenged.

There has been progress over the years in regards to the people we actually see on our screens; actors, actresses, newsreaders, presenters and television personalities in general - although it might not be as much as we would like, we have definitely seen a wider representation of people looking back at us than ten years ago. However, it's behind the camera that the major problem lies. Behind the camera is where the power and the decision making is and if there is a narrow range of views, opinions and perspectives there, then that will be reflected on the television channels. Pat highlighted ITV for not having any commissioners from ethnic backgrounds and that this is evident in their programming. Therefore, here is where action is urgently needed. Training schemes that nurture talent, give people the opportunity to get their foot in the door and also develop their skills along their career path is a key way ensuring that in the future, executives at the top of the television industry are more representative of the audiences they serve.

Pat gave a useful piece of advice for people aspiring to work in television: know what you are good at. Not everyone is good at presenting or directing or producing or developing creatives. Pat's skill is managing and nurturing talent. Work out what your skill is and hone it to ensure that your not a jack of all trades and master of none. You'll probably progress in your career much faster. Also, it's important to know that there are so many different areas of television that you can get involved in, its not only about producing programmes. Marketing, publicity, finance, legal, talent management - do some research and find a path that suits you.

My personal concern is that in this strive for diversity, it may be all a bit too easy for it to turn into a numbers game. That is often the problem when targets are introduced. I am all for good talent rising to the top and diversity policies should be implemented to ensure that people have the OPPORTUNITY to gain skills and experience that they would not normally have access to. This way, the idea that "the cream of the crop will rise to the top" is one that still stands. However, if in order to meet targets, production companies and television channels just employ to fulfil a quota, then nothing will have really changed.

I also really do hope that this renewed drive is not another soapbox where we highlight the issues but nothing gets done. Remember that there is power in numbers and it is important to not expect too much from Pat's new position - he is only one man who has a range of responsibilities at the BBC, diversity only being one of them. It is up to us to continue to put pressure on the industry and transform all this talk into change. To get involved in The TV Collective, find out about training schemes, jobs and to network visit their facebook group.

What are your thoughts? What are your experiences within the television industry? What would you advise The Collective to do, what would you like to see from them? Speak on it and lets get this ball rolling!

Behind every successful man, there is a strong woman...standing in front of a stove.

2009-07-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

Hey
This post is inspired by stories I have read recently about high profile men in the entertainment industry and the role their wives play. Tameka 'Tiny' Cottle, former singer of girl group Xscape, now more commonly known as rapper TI's wife/fiance/girlfriend/mother of his children, has allegedly been trying to restart her career for quite a while now. Now that she has her own reality show with Li'l Wayne's ex-wife (please, I don't have the energy to go there!), it looks like she is finally starting to make her own moves. However, she is often reported to say that TI is not completely happy with her ambitions to pursue a career of her own and would much rather she stay a housewife to maintain the home and look after their children. Second story - Tyrese Gibson, Coco Cola bus singer and actor is currently in the process of divorcing his wife. He met her while she was studying in London (yes ladies, we all had a chance!) and then she moved over to the states with him to set up home. Now he's divorcing her, to avoid paying her thousands in alimony, he is allegedly saying that there is no reason why she cannot get a job and pay her own way, despite the fact that he was more than happy for her to be the little stay at home wifey during their five year marriage.

My question here is why do some men meet a successful ambitious female, make her his wife and then resign her to a life of picking out china to match the wallpaper in the kitchen? Can a powerful man be happily married to a powerful women, one that has her own ambitions or must she spend the whole of their married life standing behind that powerful man, holding him up.

Guys, she was ambitious and successful when you met her, it was one of the reasons that you fell in love with her, but as soon as you put that ring on her finger you feel that the best place for her is in the home. Is this fear? Intimidation? Is it a hit to the man's pride that the women has her own and doesn't necessarily NEED them. Neyo sings of Miss Independent, but is that what men really want from a wife? By keeping her in the home, giving her an allowance every month and supplying her with new edition Louis Vuitton handbags, the woman builds up a level of dependency on her fella. It gives him the allowance to do as he pleases, playing on the fear that if she was to leave, she'd leave with nothing (well maybe half).

Or is it less premeditated and manipulative than this and simply down to values that have been instilled in some men over time? Although we have progressed quite a bit from the 1950's, traditional values of the man being the breadwinner and the woman maintaining house and home are still present. Some guys have grown up with that dynamic in their own homes and naturally want it for them and their children too. But can this still work in a time where women are now more career focused than ever?

Out of interest... Guys: would you be more attracted to a career focused woman or one with traditional values of staying home and raising the family? Be honest, do you feel intimidated by powerful, successful women? How would you feel if your wife's career was steps ahead of your own?

Ladies: as females, should we make husband and children a priority over our own career and personal ambitions? Alternatively, would you mind being the breadwinner of the family while the other half takes the role of stay-at-home-dad?

Can two powerful people remain happily married or is it natural for competition and intimidation to take hold?

Let me know your thoughts...

Empowerment vs Exploitation: Are Video Vixens ruining the perception of women?

2009-06-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Hey

A few weeks ago, I watched a Dispatches documentary on Channel 4 called Rape in the City. You can still catch it here on 4OD but you only have 12 days left, so hurry. Basically, journalist Sorious Samura was investigating the horrific 'trend' of teenage girls being gang raped by groups of young men and he specifically highlighted that it is becoming more and more common within the black community.

There were many interesting insights revealed by the documentary but what I picked up on was the lack of respect that the young black boys interviewed had for females. Yes, there is the argument that a girl should respect herself first before she expects respect elsewhere - this argument was attributed to the instances where girls initially agree to link a group of guys but then try to back out when they arrive and see 25 guys waiting for them! But there were also instances where rape was used as a form of punishment for snitching or simply because the guys deemed a girl unattractive and wanted to humiliate her. So my question here is when did these young guys lose respect from the female species.

Naturally, Samura brought up the excuse that is used time and time again - music and hip hop's negative portrayal of women is polluting the minds of our youngsters. I am usually one to stand up and argue against this theory - I watch violent films, I listen to hip-hop but I have my own mind and have never acted in a way because a rapper told me to... but is that true? Beyonce had me shaking my booty in the clubs doing the uh-oh dance and Flo-Rida has me dancing provocatively while getting low low low. So can you really say, the things you watch, the music you listen to and the media you expose yourself to doesn't affect your actions and your thoughts, even subconsciously.

What is the feeling about video vixens, glamour models and even the entertainment industry in general where for females especially, sex is how you get ahead. In Hollywood, as an actress your career has a direct correlation to your ranking on Maxim's top 100 Sexiest Women list. Even Beyonce, with her booty shaking and 'make sex with the camera' videos is contributing to the 'male gaze' ideal where women act in a way that makes men want to get physical with them and females want to be the girl that men want to get physical with. Is this culture ruining the way that men see women and therefore the way they respond to them? As previously mentioned, in the words of one of the teens interviewed in the documentary, a guy isn't going to respect a women if she doesn't respect herself. Over the years, females in the entertainment industry who have been described as using their sexuality to promote their career have argued that they are not being exploited at all. That it is a form of empowerment, being sexy is natural and they relish the feeling of making guys succumb to them. But isn't this slightly delusional. Are these women still not submitting themselves to the sexual fantasies of men and therefore not in as much control as they convince themselves to be? With these ideals, then can you blame young men seeing girls as sexual objects first before anything else?

I am not judging here, but putting the thought out there that there is a correlation and that our present culture is to blame for some of the negative things within the community. Some may argue that, its not just the black community, that it's the way the world is, sex sells and even in the days of Marylin Monroe, it was the same. Some females may argue that well if they are getting paid and no-one is forcing them to do anything then what is wrong with that. But clearly something needs to change because I think as the years go by, values that some people may call old fashioned but which I consider to hold together the moral fabric of society, are slowly being unwoven.

And as if it was meant to be, FantasyRide has been invited to 'You're Beautiful, Woman', an event put together by some fabulous ladies including Ronke Adeyemi over at The Musings of Ondo Lady blog. This annual event celebrates black female beauty inside and out and aims to motivate and inspire women to recognise their own self worth in every avenue of their lives. There will be seminars and workshops covering topics such as styling, fashion, natural hair and beauty, relationships, fitness, financial advice and inner beauty. It takes place on Saturday 15 August at Highgate Newton Community Centre. Tickets are only £5 so see the website for more information: http://www.yourebeautifulwoman.com/. Hope to see you there!

Us 20 year olds have some serious competition...

2009-06-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

For years, since time began, an older man dating a younger woman has been since as acceptable - ok underage cases and age gaps of 30 years plus excluded - but even today, seeing a 20 year old female hanging off the arm of a man that looks like her Dad, doesn't do much to *shock* anymore.

But what about when it's the other way round. Cradle snatcher, Mrs Robinson (if you don't know the classic film The Graduate, get to know, it stars Dustin Hoffman) and now a name to top all names 'The Cougar'.

A 'Cougar' in it's traditional sense, is a member of the puma family and is described as "a stalk-and-ambush type predator, one that is territorial". In the year 2009 cougars are more commonly known as Demi Moore, Halle Berry, Madonna and every other woman who is dating a younger man. My first gripe is the fact that these women are called 'predators' - so dramatic and negative - they didn't say that about R Kelly....they called him a paedophile though....ok we'll call it even. In the U.S, there is even a dating show hosted by Vivica A Fox (does ANYONE know what that 'A' stands for?) where about 20 guys have signed up to try and win the heart of a 40 year old divorcee with teenage sons. This so called 'craze' is changing what society considers 'normal' in regards to dating and relationships and soon enough, no one will even bat an eyelid, if not already. Well, I say good for you cougars. You can't help who you are attracted to, if that so happens to be Ashton Kutcher or Nick Cannon and they happen to like you right back, then why not?

It's obvious to see the attraction for the females; a young, virile, fit, chiseled face and body is more than difficult to resist. Not every guy ages like Will Smith people; too much pounded yam, fufu and supermalt can have that six pack looking like a keg in 5 years, 2 if you're really unlucky. However, what is the attraction for younger guys? In all those women magazines (which I don't read by the way, but always seem to find them in my bag for some odd reason) women often say that at 30 and 40, you know yourself more than you do in your 20's and that gives off a confidence that men are attracted to. So 30 really is the new 20 - women are more confident, set in their careers, making that money, living in a place they can call their own and more 'emotionally stable' than the younger version of themselves. OR is it because guys like someone to look after them, so that mothering image is something that they can't help but be drawn to?

Whatever the reason, while this news might be great for us youngins in about 10 years time, what about now? What about finding that boyfriend/hubby within the next couple of years. With this growing 'cougar' trend, we're not only competing with our peers but also with these confident 'superwomen' ready to show guys our a age a thing or two about being with a "real woman". Step up your game ladies, we've got competition!

Guys, could you take a cougar? What are your feelings about older women? Would you go there? What do older women have over us young ones?

Ladies, could YOU take a cougar? Standing stand by side, what would you have over her? Would you date a younger man?

And finally, to you cougars out there.....you got any tips?

Cancelled, Cancelled, Cancelled!

2009-05-23T03:44:00.000-07:00

My buddy Broadband over at The Wider Perspective wrote a very interesting piece on the disappearance of black sitcoms both over in the States and here in the UK. Check it out!

Beating me to the post (ha ha get it) as I was gonna write on a similar issue following the cancellation of The Game and Everybody Hates Chris, I just had to comment on his page giving my two cents, so I hope he doesn't mind me re-posting.

Mayne, this was gonna be my weekend post! But I will speak on it anyway by commenting.

I agree with the whole primary/secondary network theory. I think execs want to play it safe and not risk losing their viewers, especially if they are unsure how an 'ethnic sitcom' will be received. But it's a catch 22 situation because without taking a risk, how will they know whether they are missing out on a hit? In these harsh economic times especially for the broadcast industry due to the lack of finance via advertising, it's worrying that things are not going to change any time soon - playing it safe and sticking to a 'sure-thing' is seen as the most economically sound option. Also, what is the incentive to commission and run an 'ethnic' sitcom? Scrubs, 30 Rock etc resonate with a range of different communities. Moving slightly away from sitcoms, how many Black, Asians, Chinese people watched Sex & The City, Friends or are addicted to Desperate Housewives? Many, but those programmes featured no ethnic lead characters. They were just good programmes. Therefore, is there a need for specialist and targeted programming when a programme with mass appeal touches all bases? Playing the devil's advocate here, but this is what execs may be thinking so again I ask, what is the incentive?

I think a revolution is needed -I apologise for the theatrical tone but we need something fresh, a new format aside from the typical Eve's, Half and Half's and The Game. I was at a Ghanaian Union function not too long ago - gotta keep in touch with the culture people - and something one of the elders said stayed with me. There are so many smaller unions and inspiring individuals that are all doing great things to represent Ghana, however they are not doing it collectively - it's too fragmented so no one union can make the impact that they intend to. So in that same spirit, I think what is needed is a more collective approach....(Lightbulb!!!!) Power and strength in numbers people, combine creativity and business sense then maybe we can give the networks something worth taking notice of.

L.Mayne, I'll be in touch...

I think it's time I stopped talking and put some things into motion. What do you guys think, is there a need for ethnic programmes? Is the whole idea of ethnic targeting redundant anyway? Are you attracted to programmes, products, services because they appeal to your ethnicity or to you as an individual.

Speak on it!

xoxo

Bitchassness kills your game, my brothers...

2009-04-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

Hey hey, back from Miami people, got my skin an upgrade and I'm ready to get back on it...well I was, until my train was cancelled and the rain was coming at me sideways this morning.

Anywho, while in Miami, I caught the whole of the most recent series of Making the Band...man are they a bunch of sissies!! Drama, crying, making up and breaking up, it was just too much! Now, I'm all for men showing their sensitive side but when they are squaring off to each other with their hands on their hips and doing the chicken neck, I think things just got a little bit too emotional. Willie, Que, Robert, Brian and Mike - I don't find any of them attractive...and their antics on the show don't help either. So my question is.... are reality TV programmes sometimes too real?

With anti-publicity hungry film stars like Matt Damon and even artists like Beyonce, the mystery of what they are like in real life adds to the intrigue and interest in them. As much as I get on Beyonce's back about being a closed book, in some ways it's a great marketing tool - being a mystery keeps people talking about her and buying into what she sells just so that they can maybe get a glimpse of what she is really like. It's like a girl giving it all up on the first date...are guys still interested afterwards?

While shows like MTB, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and Living with the Lohans aim to give 'fans' an insight into the lives of these stars in the hope that it creates an emotional tie to them so that they keep buying into them as brands, the other end is that it shows you way too much of a person, flaws and all. While it seems like the process works, (Day 26 and Danity Kane have achieved success), how long does it last for, will the bubble eventually burst, are they deemed credible enough for me to spend my dollars on (still in Miami mode)? In the end, you realise that these beautiful people who you thought were attractive, the best thing since sliced bread and were people you would scream your lungs out for, are actually like any other person on the street, a brat, or an annoying diva with way too much bitchassness. Still want to buy into that?

Move Over Sex, Swagger Sells Now!

2009-04-12T14:45:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I'm off to Miami in a couple of days so thought I would leave you with a parting gift...so ta da, here it is...

I guess most of you have seen Kanye get "murdered" by South Park last week. If not and you're in need of some deep belly laughs click here.

It got me thinking about the point where confidence turns into arrogance. Kanye is well known for thinking that he is the best thing since Adidas Shell Toes, but as a rapper and part of hip hop culture, isn't arrogance part of the criteria? From the days of LL Cool J and Run DMC and even earlier, lyrical content was focused on how great the rapper was in comparison to the "wack" competition. But has Kanye taken it too far? Is he just a unique example of someone who has taken their 'rap' persona and allowed it to transcend into normal life, leaving all humility behind.

Another question I have is with the word 'swagger'. What is it exactly? Is it confidence, the way a person carries themselves and does it require an ounce or two of arrogance to hit the right spot? Can you have swagger without being arrogant? Nowadays, Swagger Sells, swagger makes the ladies swoon, swagger is the essence of cool masculinity, swagger makes hit records, swagger makes blockbuster films. Moving away from the entertainment industry for a sec, I've been trying to set a girlfriend of mine up for the longest and every nice guy I suggest, I'm hit with the same response: "hmm...he's nice...he's good looking...but he ain't got swagger". This swagger search is gonna leave my friend old, lonely and childless with cats if she doesn't get over it.

Is there such a thing as 'natural swagger'? Can a person just have it. Some people go as far as trying to manufacture it....

But is swagger ever natural in the first place. Isn't it a bravado, a false exterior presented to the public as part of an image? Inside, the person might be a shy, crumbling wreck, who watches Dr Phil with a box of tissues on his lap.

I just wonder how the three - swagger, confidence and arrogance interact and why some do it successfully e.g. TI, Denzel Washington, Jay Z, Rihanna (this is my list) and others get their heart ripped out on shows like South Park.

What are your thoughts...who makes your top 10?

Don't Sleep

2009-03-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago I wrote a post about the ‘wannabe legend’ that is Beyonce. My irk with her was that she was never out of my face. Some people said “don’t look then” while others agreed that she should let the acting go, take a seat and have some babies - just for a little bit then hopefully she would come back with some great material to knock my socks off. However, the recent and now boring ‘Chrianna’ events have made me realise how fleeting a career in entertainment can be. Yes I know, kind of obvious, but now I realise why B is constantly on it.

How easy is it going to be for Rihanna to get back to her position? Yes, I hear she's partying and back on her grind but considering reuniting with CB back has led to some people no longer seeing her as Queen of the fierce, independent, strong female. Can she regain that postion and overcome all the drama? No point in mentioning CB's career, I think they scattered its ashes last week Friday. (Personally...I don't think it's over - he just needs to rethink his direction).

More interestingly, Shauntelle, pop/RnB singer of the hit 'T-Shirt', also originating from Barbados is slyly using this as an opportunity to get her foot in the door. Keri Hilson is getting a bit more air time with her solo stuff as well as publicity rewarding collabos with Kanye and Lil' Wayne. Even Ciara has finally got a release date for her new album. Whether the sudden push is a coincidence or a well devised plan by music execs, it is definitely perfect timing. So wake up, don’t sleep Rihanna, because I think someone is trying to steal your spot.

This common symptom is not limited to music artists- film stars and much loved TV programmes can get drowsy too. Eastenders took some "Good Nytol" in 2007 when it lost out to Coronation Street for best soap at the Royal Television Society Awards - they haven't let that happen again. Pro Plus is your friend Eastenders!!! (Just hurry up Danielle, tell Ronnie already - gosh!). I think Neighbours is officially in a coma and rapper Nelly has taken a vacay and let FloRida jack his swagga - that vacation may become permanent homie, wake up!

Can you think of any other music artists, television shows, actors who fell asleep on the job and lost it?

Model Search...and no I'm not Tyra

2009-03-03T13:23:00.000-08:00

Hey

I'm am looking for models to take part in a mini documentary. It will focus on ethnic models pursuing a career in high fashion. The criteria are as follows:

Must be with an agency and attend regular castings

Must be a high fashion model

Must be of ethnic origin

Simple really.

If you are interested, please email me with your name, age, height, agency and attach a picture. Alternatively, if you know anyone that would be suitable, please forward them the details.

Thanks

mowusu_85@hotmail.com

Did Eastenders Punk Out?

2009-03-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

Hey

For those who caught this week's "all black" episode of Eastenders, what did you think? The Sun argued that the producer's lack of promotion of this historic event somehow watered down the sincerity of the gesture to highlight race relations in the UK. My view is that by making a big song and dance about it, they might have turned this great moment into a gimmick, a novelty. Yes, it will go into the archives as a piece of television history and with the anniversary of the Macpherson Report, it was a great way to reinforce that the soap was in touch with the feelings of black people in the UK. Nevertheless, by treating this episode like any other Eastenders episode it guaranteed an audience that could do with hearing about black experiences in the UK. Some might say that it was a lesson in 'our history for our people', but it is important to highlight the programme's diverse audiences who may have actually switched off it if was proclaimed to be an "all black" episode, for fear of being lectured about something that they didn't really care or were concerned about. While Eastenders and television in general can serve well as a vehicle for educating people about social issues, it's primary objective is to entertain (despite Chelsea's painful acting) and provide some light relief at the end of a stressful day. I think the producer's remembered this in their aim not alienate its other audiences and at the same time ensured that we all learnt something together. My opinion, what's yours?

...And they lived Happily Ever After....

2009-02-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

Hey People

Well, by now I guess you have all heard the news about Chrianna..I'm not going to go into it, you can read about it at the one thousand, nine hundred and eighty-seven other blogs who are already going crazy over the alleged antics.

Relationships in the public eye - that's where my mind is at. It's a major part of celeb culture and can be both positive and negative to the parties involved. 'Brand Beckham' for example, Victoria's ribs need David and David's balls need Vicki to maintain their status and riches. 'Are they, aren't they dating' stories sell films when on a normal basis they might have gone straight to DVD. If we're honest, it's what us old romantics like to see (If you're not an old romantic, you'll probably disagree with me from this point forth). We watch these actors on screen fall in love and suddenly they're public property and thanks to the beloved paparazzi aka 'rats on scooters' we get to see them 'fall in love' off screen too.

Here is where the confusion lies - because we see them act out their happy ending at the end of a film, its easy to believe that their lives are a typical chick-flick too. Speaking for myself, I was absolutely DEVASTATED about the whole Jennifer, Brad and Angelina episode. It was like he cheated on ME - I had put faith into them as a Hollywood couple that would last. I thought 'aw, that's so lovely, he's settled down and Rachel from friends has finally gotten over Ross!'

It's easy to forget that people in the public eye are exactly that: PEOPLE. They go through the same mess as the rest of us except that everyone knows their business - Facebook Stalking multiplied by 1000. This is no way in defence of Chris Breezy but I guess the whole incident serves as a reminder that the happy pics that we see in blogs or the column inches we pore over in the magazines are just stories...sometimes minus the knight in shining armour and happily ever after.

Is there a need for 'Ethnic' press?

2009-02-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

As many of you may have already heard, New Nation (a paper that catered for African & Caribbean communities) has closed after its parent company Ethnic Media Group went into administration. The Eastern Eye, a paper for the Asian community under the same parent was sold and has plans to continue. There has been no buyer for the New Nation meaning that unfortunately it's sayonara.

What has inspired me to blog on this was an article by Angela Foster in The Guardian: Why we still need a black press. Interestingly enough, it wasn't the actual feature (taking nothing away from Foster) but the comments afterwards:

"This is racist...imagine a paper calling itself white and having a competition for the sexiest white people...its regressive and divisive...there's no black community just as there is no white community...put skin colour away and celebrate humanity...the media does give coverage to stories affecting the black community - Stephen Lawrence, racist chanting at football clubs, Obama..." I'm gonna stop because that last comment was just...wow.

My argument is the same that I use for arguments against the MOBOs, Miss Black Britain and other initiatives aimed at celebrating ethnic communities: we live in a country where historically industries have been white. We are still not at a place where things are equal and we are all on an even playing field with fair representation. Will we ever get to that place, I don't know, but I do welcome ways in which the under-represented have a voice. In Ghana for instance, it is predominantly black (obviously) but for the other 'ethnic minorities' there (White, Indian, Chinese) I am sure that they would enjoy reading about issues related to them AS WELL AS mainstream Ghanaian press.

I think this is a result of the way we handle race issues in the U.K. In the U.S the issue of race is out in the open, it is discussed and everyone knows there are things that need addressing. However in the U.K with it's 'multi-cultural' emphasis, some believe that we are already doing so much to 'accommodate' and 'tolerate' (hate those words - sorry to be a burden) people of different races. Yes London is one of the most diverse places in the world but that doesn't mean that we will all immediately get along. It doesn't automatically mean that no one is bothered by race anymore. The 'I'm not racist, I have a Paki friend' attitude only hides the real issues that we have in this country and the growing frustration of some non-ethnics who believe that 'affirmative action' is getting put of hand.

PERSONALLY I wish that there was a way to have more integration. Specialist press has it's benefits, I don't disagree with that -mainstream press often fails to give the perspective that a niche offering can give. For instance, my Dad is a massive fan of Al Jazeera because it doesn't have that western influence. Speaking of Al Jazeera, they have just signed a partnership with the Independent to stream AJ content on the Independent website. This is exactly what I am talking about. Nobody I know goes to ONE place to get all of their news; I read the Guardian and other mainstream media everyday for UK and world news and go to the blogs and online sites to satisfy my other needs. To have all of this is one place would be integration at its best and I believe that partnerships and collaborations offline and online might be the way forward.

So much more to write about but I'm trying to avoid these essay type posts. Continue the discussion below with your thoughts - speak on it!!!

"Computer jee, lock kar diya jaye"

2009-01-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

In case you've been stuck under a rock for the last year, I'd thought I'd let you know: Bollywood is taking over the global film industry. Plain and simple. AND I had this post topic sitting in my drafts way before the success of Slumdog Millionaire so I guess I was on the right track. Even though it was British directed and wasn't the traditional 'dance like you're screwing on a light bulb with one hand and patting a child's head with the other' type of film, the Indian theme and connections were at the core and I see a pattern forming. With Steven Spielberg and Will Smith, getting in on the action and stars like Aishwarya Rai, Kareena Kapoor and Abhishek Bachchan becoming increasingly popular, I'm thinking traditional Hollywood needs to watch its back. British Indians are also getting in on the act with Deepak Verma (Sanjay from Eastenders) producing a Ben Stiller type comedy; I predict a spate of others will follow.

But where does that leave the black film industry? How have Bollywood films managed to retain a captive audience willing to pay for cinema tickets and DVDs to the extent that the industry is now challenging one of the oldest, big-money-making institutions in the world? Will we eventually see the same with Nolly/Gollywood?

Lets talk about black Hollywood for now or I'll be here all day. By that I mean, black cultural themes and directors/producers. You remember all those straight to DVD, I mean VHS movies when we were all a little younger. 'How to be a Player', 'Boomerang', 'The Players Club', 'The Wood', 'The Brothers' etc. But what now....will they still be wheeling out Gabrielle Union when she hits 75. The same old, boy meets feisty/angry black woman, breaks her down, they fall in love, an obstacle hits e.g. ex boyfriend, baby mother, shady past, halitosis - they overcome it and voila, movie done. However, I do enjoy myself a bit of Tyler Perry; Why Did I Get Married was thought provoking (the 80-20 rule - get to know) and entertaining at the same time. He's also brought us Madea's Family Reunion, Madea's Class Reunion, Madea Goes to Jail, Madea Tosses Salad, Madea Eats a Biscuit, Madea Takes a Dump, Madea DIES..ok I'm playing, I'll stop. But in terms of mainstream movies its more about black actors and actresses who have made it and feature in typical Hollywood type films - Will Smith, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Halle Berry (shouldn't Angela Bassett be in that list...I guess that's another post as well).

Perhaps black films can never be mainstream because by their very definition, it is a niche industry with a niche audience. But then you could argue that Bollywood was a niche and now it's on its way to the big time. I'll put it down to its uniqueness, it brings something new to the table while black films, (storylines and all) can easily be replicated perhaps.

As far as the industry being profitable enough to reinvest and grow, I'm not sure. Is it the audience that are to blame, with our pirates and not supporting 'our own'. We'll pay £8 plus to go to the cinema and see 'Sex & the City' but if 'Girlfriends' was doing a feature length film, would you pay £8 then? £6... no? Ok how about £3.50....anyone... £1.20... SOLD! A cinema ticket to see Girlfriends - sold to the person in the back who has no friends and absolutely nothing to do this Friday.

The UK is stepping up though, maybe that is where the black film industry is at now. Noel Clarke, no - I don't have a crush on him or anything MR GS, Skillset are holding numerous schemes and initiatives to get more ethnic minorities into film, young 'indie/Spike Lee-like' directors such as Jesse Lawrence are coming up through BFM's festivals and short film competitions etc. Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole are also moving into the film domain; with a film currently in production allegedly featuring 50 Cent, maybe their surplus cash from a weekend of football is the investment that the industry needs to train and subsidise young creatives who have the talent and innovation to think outside the box and create the blockbusters that we need and want. I'm looking forward to the next couple of years.

Your thoughts...

Keep on pushing (Dead Presidents, 1995)

Fantasy Ride featured on IFB.

2009-01-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

Hey people,

Fantasy Ride was featured on Independent Fashion Bloggers in a post written by Ronke Adeyemi of The Musings of Ondo Lady. She decided to write about the meanings behind blog names so click here to read about the weird and wonderful backstories to a few of our friends out there in the blogosphere. A big thanks to Ronke for featuring FR!!!

xoxo

Noel Clarke, the Rising Star

2009-01-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

Hey, a quick one here.

Just to let you know if you haven't already heard, Noel Clarke of Kid/Adulthood fame (also Doctor Who and Auf Wiedersehen, Pet) has been nominated for the Orange BAFTA Rising Star Award.

Tagged as Britain's answer to Spike Lee he has definitely made a name for himself as a talent to watch. If you think he should win the award then click the link below to show your support.

http://bafta.orange.co.uk/nominees/show/2/

What do you think about the film talent in the UK...next post: the black film industry!

xoxo

Jack of all Trades...

2008-12-25T17:06:00.000-08:00

Is it me or is Beyonce getting tres annoying? Now before you all sing a chorus of "Hi Hater", realise that this statement is coming from a Beyonce fan...or ex fan...well I'm going to her concert in May so I guess I still like the girl. I followed DC, watched every documentary and interview on MTV, rinsed her solo albums, knew all of her dance routines - my girls can vouch for that; writhing around on my living room floor practising the 'Baby Boy' routine - good times!!

So what went wrong? Three things for me. The first two are sort of interlinked. When Beyonce started on her 'journey to an Oscar', appearing in films in the hope of becoming a major movie star, I watched through my fingers -you know, the same way you watch a friend who thinks she can sing, giving it her all with a terrible rendition of Mariah Carey's Hero, complete with ad libs, neck movements and eyes clenched in emotion... She's just not that great. 6 months with an acting coach does not turn you into Dame Judi Dench, ok honey.

With the films came the over-exposure, my second reason. When Usher goes away in between albums - he makes a baby or something. When Justin Timberlake goes away, you start to miss him. When Beyonce goes away-she doesn't. Its just like 'arrggghhh get out of my face dammit!' Yes, I know she is on the Diva tip, wanting to be a legend, the next Barbara Streisand (her words not mine) but is that really feasible? Jack of all trades, master of none, hmmm?

That leads me on to my final reason. The talent. Is B that great of a singing talent - one guaranteed for legendary status? Will she ever be that ultimate Diva she plans on becoming? Is she one already? Listening to her new album 'I Am...Sasha Fierce', I'm not convinced. 'Halo' is my fave track on the slow CD, basically the only song I like, but with the rumours that Simon Cowell accused Beyonce of stealing it from Leona Lewis, I can't help resenting B's oversinging and feel that Leona would have done a better job. The second CD...hmmm ok, but still not great. Can B really do both - the Barbara Streisand romantic ballad image as well as the ride-or-die, RnB chick - watch the DIVA video and tell me if you think it's believable.

Let me just say that it's not all bad - I think she has a great voice and is a mesmirising performer; despite competition in the form of Keyshia Cole, Rihanna, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, Jazmine Sullivan et al, I think B is still the reigning Queen. However, is it only a matter of time, (poor songs, confusing musical direction and bad acting performances) before her crown slips? Or is B the definition of versatility and longevity in the entertainment indusry. What do you think, has B still got it?

Seasons Greetings from Fantasy Ride

2008-12-25T16:57:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year..roll on 2009 baby!

xoxo

Doctor, I Have a Problem....

2008-12-19T02:50:00.001-08:00

As David Tennant is set to leave the role of Doctor Who, there is much talk over who is going to be the next controller of the Tardis. Personally, I rarely watch the programme; old people falling over and cats fighting their mirror reflections on You’ve Been Framed always seemed to grab my attention on the other side. However, in the year of ‘black firsts’, many have predicted the coming of an ethnic doctor, no not Dr Raj from your local GP, but a black or Asian actor to play the most iconic timelord of all….well, time. Patterson Joseph and Colin Salmon have been name dropped – although I think Salmon should hold out for James Bond status. Meera Syal has also found her way on to the list as potentially the first female Dr Who.

To me an ethnic Doctor Who would be a positive development in an industry which has been labelled institutionally racist at times. Nevertherless, I also strongly believe that the concentration should be on finding the best actor for the job- if that person happens to be of ethnic orgin, then hip hip hooray. I don’t think precious Doctor Who fans will be too pleased with the media hype and fenzy overshadowing the show. Studio bosses making decisions with the primary concern of creating publicitiy and impact will only draw critisim and unfair scrutiny if an ethnic actor is in fact cast. You just know that certain people are waiting for Obama to slip up, anticipating even, in the hope that they can turn around and say “ha ha told you so”. If ratings of DW fall, you know the line will be “too much change…it alienated viewers” and the new doctor will be swiftly aneathetised.

I guess we’ll see what happens when they announce the new recruit. My money is on Patterson Joseph; with his typical English accent and theatrical/Shakespearean background, I can see him being a great Doctor. However, I can’t wait for the day when the phrase ‘the first black (insert high profile position here)’ is the first time it isn’t used.

Alex vs Leona

2008-12-07T07:45:00.000-08:00

Alex to win X-Factor, she is definitely a star. The only time I voted in all the history of X-Factor/Pop Stars/Pop Idol/Strictly shows was the Leona vs Ray Quinn final. This time around, T-mobile will be happy that I'm gonna be spending money outside of my free allowances, as I am committed to contributing to Alex's success on finale night.

However, when Alexandra wins, (yes "when"), and is under Simon's management, how is he going to successfully maintain Leona rise to superstardom and simulataneously launch the career of Alex's, without compromising either?

It's all about positioning. (Eve, my old lecturer will be soooo pleased that Im putting my marketing degree to good use here!) While both are great ballad singers, I think Leona's weakness may lie with the more up tempo, edgier records, for instance her single 'Forgive Me'...sorry but I can't. That was like 1991 Mariah BBE (before breakdown and Emancipation).

I think that Alex should be marketed more down the Beyonce avenue - not exactly like the diva herself but more the dancing, performance route and not the 'make love to your microphone stand' one. Should be interesting to see how Simon handles it. What are your thoughts and make sure you vote people!

"I'm sorry but that wasn't good.....that was fantastic". One of SyCo's many quotes.

xoxo

Britannia Low

2008-12-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

Miley Cirus, Corbin Bleu, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers - just a few of the names making millions from the 'Tween' market in the States. Everyone's on a high with High School Musical and can't seem to get enough of Zac and Vanessa.

And then came the UK with their own attempt of annoying cheese and 'you can do it/follow your dream' cliches. It should have been good. It should have been the one programme to revive children's TV, with Arlene Phillips in production and Gary Barlow doing what he does best in the musical chair. So why did a couple of tin mugs from 1870, that Margaret found in a cardboard box in the loft, blow Britania High off the ratings radar?

Its debut only managed to secure 3.3million viewers. 'Only' I hear you cry, "why, 3.3million viewers is a lot, especially in these days of digital TV and multiple choice". Yes, it is a lot but compared to the Antiques Roadshow's 8.6million, it's a tiny drop in the ocean. With viewing figures dropping every week (2.5million by the 3rd episode), I doubt this bundle of sickly joy will be on our screens for a second series. At least then, Arlene can go back to her day job - coming up with the most complicated, long-winded, aliteration-littered compliments and put downs ever known to man on Strictly Come Dancing: "You were like a leopard leaping across the luxurios Lagos landscape, lothariously and lovingly licking his lady lioness. That Cha Cha Cha was magnificent!" Wow, the lady makes me laugh.

But what is the problem here? Why didn't it work? Despite the significant marketing investment, why are people switiching off? One of my arguments would be that children in the UK are much more cynical than kids in the US. Our ideologies are a far cry from 'the American Dream'. In America Billy Bob from Arkansas actually believes that he can be anything he wants to be; yes, even the President of the United States, because it has been drummed into him since the day he was born - that America is the land where dreams come true. In the UK, little Charlie is told to keep his expectations low, get his head down and maybe one day, if he works really hard, he might become head of the Soups and Sauces ailse at Tesco (no offence to Soups and Sauce heads at Tesco). Ok, maybe I'm going too far but the point I'm making is that even as kids, UK children are extremely clued up as to what the real world for the majority of us is like. They understand that it's hard out there and that we can't all be rich and famous, spending our lives doing only the things we like to do. This cynicism, and sadly loss of childhood innocence and optimism, may be why BB and the gang should maybe take a hop and a skip to their local job centre pretty sharpish...just in case.

Grange Hill, Byker Grove, Children's Ward. These were gritty, realistic and my favourite word - relatable. They brought in the numbers and I think that even though Britannia High was a good idea on paper when you look at the success High School Musical had in the States, the producers missed a big trick here. Trying to create a carbon copy to serve an audience that is so different may have been the reason why "This could be the start of something good" wasn't.

"I cannae see man, I cannae see" (PJ from Byker Grove blinded by a paintball pellet - classic)

Back to Black...(and White TV)

2008-11-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

Hey,
Here's an issue which slightly bothers me...the lack of ethnic representation on TV. And by this, I mean characters that my friends, my family and myself can identify with. Ok, we see black people in Eastenders: Gus - the dustbin man, Paul Trueman - the gangster, Denise Fox - the single parent, Chelsea - the crackhead...a pattern forming anyone?? However, I do give credit where it is due, I have taken to the Masood family and feel that the inclusion of cultural themes such as Ramadan is a great move by Eastenders. But for the rest of television, (not everything, because there are some real gems out there) stereotypes seem to play a major role when it comes to casting, scripts, and story lines.

When Gus left Eastenders, I heard the actor Muhammed George discussing his departure during an interview on Choice FM. I recall him saying that Eastenders' bosses had apologised, saying that they didn't know how to write for him, that they were unsure of how to write for an ethnic character. Did I miss something? Am I an alien from another planet? Let's think of some of the best soap storylines that have gone by...Ok, let's settle for good because its been hard times in soap land lately. Coronation Street - Carla-Liam-Maria love triangle. Eastenders - Max-Bradley-Stacey. Hollyoaks -Niall vs McQueens. Emmerdale......anyone watch Emmerdale?? Ok moving on. My point is, couldn't those story lines be acted out by black, Chinese and/or South Asian characters? I think that some productions focus too much on the differences between races and cultures and due to lack of knowledge about certain communities revert to unfair stereotypes when really they should acknowledge that as PEOPLE, we all encounter the same situations from time to time.

At the moment, there is nothing out there which reflects my struggles, no young black female that I can relate to. While I agree that programmes like The Bill do reflect the situations which SOME are going through, I cannot see 'myself' looking back at me from the screen. Maybe it's me, maybe I lead a sheltered life, maybe they are reflecting a majority experience that I am naive to. All I know is that I live in South East London, in a large black community, I have never smoked weed or taken crack, I have never had a gun or knife pulled on me (thank God) I do not have a baby, I do not have a drug dealer boyfriend, I have not dropped out of school and have not been forced into an arranged marriage with Uncle Kojo from Agogo village....yet.

However, what I and many people I know have experienced as a young person living in Urban London is what most young people go through - finding a good man and other relationship issues (tell me about it), dealing with traditional African parents, managing friendships, adapting to the professional world of work. The subject is the same but there are just slight cultural inflections – nothing that should be so difficult for a television producer to recreate. Are theses subjects boring, less sensationalist than the stereotype? Possibly. But in a country with a lack of understanding or respect for other cultures and each other, the message that these stereotypes are pushing out there is just detrimental to society as a whole. For someone whose only experience with Asians are the stereotypical story lines they see on the TV, can you imagine the impact on the perception and understanding of people from that community?

I guess my point is that there is little variety to the representations out there. With white characters you have a mixture of good and evil, on the right side of the law and on the wrong side of the law, doing well in life and not doing so well. You have variety. I am not denying that issues like arranged marriages, "black on black" crime and single parenthood exists in ethnic communities but when this is the only thing we see, then TV must be doing more damage than good.

Noel Clarke, holla at me, we can do business.

It's Music of BLACK ORIGIN people!!!!!

2008-10-14T12:13:00.001-07:00

Yes, its that time again - Black History month - check. MOBO's - check!

Today I was reading the New Nation and saw a piece about Jay Sean saying that he doesn't believe he should be nominated for a MOBO award because he isn't black. In the last couple of months, in the lead up to the award ceremony, there has been much debate in the media regarding the nominees and even nominated artists stating their opinions about the non-black people in their categories: Estelle vs Duffy.

But hold on, is everyone missing the point here? I agree with Estelle; just because Adele is kinda heavy, has a deeper tone to her voice and doesn't sing rock or cheesy pop, the industry tend to wedge people like her into the 'soul' category...umm I can't imagine Aretha Franklin Chasing Pavements, can you - once she got on the ground I don't know if she'd be able to get up! HOWEVER, the award ceremony celebrates artists who deliver music from black origin, not those who actually ARE of black origin. Every year they seem to miss the point.

The article in the New Nation went on to report the view that at the Asian Music Awards, there are never any black people nominated. Hello! When was the last time you saw Wiley dance around to Bhangra or Skepta sing along to Bollywood Bangle Sweep??? Black people do not tend to make music of south Asian origin and even if they did, the people nominated would depend on the actual definition of the ceremony - for Asian artists, or for those who create Asian music? There is a difference. With the MOBOs, the definition is in the name for all to see... so can we please get over it???

Walk Biatches!!

2008-10-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

With the fashion weeks taking place, London, Milan, Paris, I was sooooooooooooooooooooo happy to see new Nubian model Jourdan Dunn in the papers almost every day. She's definitly doing her thing.

How many of you were impressed by Vogue Italia doing that much talked about 'black edition'? There has been much debate: gimmick vs making a real stance? Personally I believe that anything that placed the issue of the lack of colour in the fashion industry in the mainstream arena is a good thing. It got people talking about an issue that has been glossed over for years.

But has it really changed anything....

Take Milan Fashion week, Jourdan was the ONLY black model to walk Prada! I mean, this is an Italian label. Vogue is considered to be such an important publication, you would think that some of its great influence would filter down to these prestigious fashion houses. This colourless trend was also reflected in other shows - Gucci, Fendi, Versace and Missoni - 1 model in each of those and none in Giorgio Armani.

So did Vogue Italia just rip us all off?

This whole colour thing does get to me because it seems that even though this has been an issue for a while, its like pulling teeth to get some change up in here. Also aside from Alek Wek are there any REAL black high fashion models. I mean the kind with a 'black' nose instead of a European one, natural hair instead of long straight pony hair a la Naomi. By pushing to the forefront the most European looking black models are the fashion houses just ticking the box to say "there you go, there's your black girl, now leave me alone?"

Will there ever be genuine change? Or do we just have to accept that 'high fashion' requires a certain look, as does does commercial modelling or glamour modelling. Maybe women of colour fair better in specific areas of modelling only. You'll find a nice Asian model in the Next Catalogue. Play to your strengths and be a video girl is what some might say - oooh controversial. These thoughts are not my own, just putting it out there. (Nice recovery Shants). What I do think is that things will never change until the institutional barriers are broken. When the Pradas, Versaces, Guccis are making millions doing what they do, where is the incentive to break the cycle? Do you remember when the whole size zero debate happened and they banned models under a certain BMI index.....and then forgot all about it after press coverage died a little. It is all too easy to sweep these things under the carpet so I welcome campaigns such as Black But Invisible by Mahagony Model Management who are pushing to keep the issue in the limelight. But what we need are the journalists, the casting agents, even people in corporate positions who use models as spokespeople and endorsers - here is where people can make a difference to the fashion industry as a whole.

At the moment, there is the mentality that there can only be one at a time...Tyra Banks(God bless her soul - I love Tyra) talks about how back in the day she was labelled as "the one to challenge Naomi for the supermodel crown". They never pitted her up against Cindi Crawford or Linda Evangelista. It's still still happening in 2008, there are always pictures of Jourdan up against Chanel Iman, another Nubian newcomer, its crazy, but its the way it is for now until we show them that black is not only beautiful, but its profitable too.

"Walk like you're broke and the rent is due tomorrow"
Miss Jay, ANTM

xoxo

Finally bit the bullet...

2008-10-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hey

I finally bit the bullet...I have created my own blog...arrrggghhh what the hell do I do????

Having recently become an employee at one of the world's top public relations companies, us 'new grads' have had it drummed into us the importance of blogging, its effect on forming opinions and creating debate. So what do I blog about? What is my role as a new PR, on her way to becoming an influential figure in this weird and wonderful world?

Have. No. Clue.

I always thought blogging was a bit of an ego trip, for people who just like hearing their own voice; don't you just hate those types of people? What they can say in a sentence they drag it on for an hour. They go on and on and on...ok i'll stop.

Alright, I know what I'm going to write about...

FANTASY RIDE
I have a great interest in the entertainment industry, no I don't want to be the next Leona Lewis or Charlize Theron, more I'm interested in the power that it has to make money, create brands, form opinions and change people's lives. I mean how many twins, start acting at 2, start producing their own straight-to-DVD films before the age of 15, create a nation of followers other than the Olsens. As much as you might hate her, when was the last time Lyndsey Lohan was OUT of the news? On a more 'credible' note, who are the first ports of call when an issue, be it world debt, poverty, war, HIV/AIDS needs to be brought to the limelight - Gwyneth, Brad, Angelina, Jessica (Alba not Biel...and definitely not Simpson).

On another level, I love creativity. Whether it be an innovative designer which stops me from turning the page, a quirky, catchy beat that I can nod my head to, drama that keeps me on the edge of my seat, the creative industry brings me so much pleasure and entertainment. Its not all about the gossip, feuds and who's dating who.

So that's enough of me justifying why I'm going to blog about this industry - I apologise if this is a bit rough and not exactly the entertainment that I speak so highly of, it might take a while for me to get into a groove.

Oh yes, Fantasy Ride, the title. Well apart from all the emotions the entertainment world can take us all on, the ups and downs, (you see what I did there) I guess there are a few out there who want to actually become part of this vicious, 'chew em up and spit em out' wonderful bubble. But how much of it is reality, how much of it is right, how much of it is fair, is it an illusion, will the bubble eventually burst? Is it all just a big fantasy?

That was a bit dramatic wasn't it....sorry.

Blog soon!

xoxo

Fantasy Ride

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What Rule Book? Ladies, Go Get Your Man!

I Just Wanna Be...Successful

The Pursuit of Happiness..in the Opposite Sex

"I'm Attracted to His Personality"...yeah right!

Fashion's Inspiration

Miley Cyrus and Lucky Number 17!

All About the Ladies

Get a room....or just away from me!

2010: Officially the Year of The Jump-Off

Er...and Who Are You?

Having Fun vs Sin...Round One...FIGHT!

Forever Young....I wanna be forever young...

Embarrassed by the beat of our own drum...

Black British, Black African or Mixed? Tick your box...

Little White Lies...

Is it really that unbeweavable?

You're Beautiful, Woman - and you're smart too!

TREND ALERT: The new therapy

Pat Younge on diversity in the television industry

Behind every successful man, there is a strong woman...standing in front of a stove.

Empowerment vs Exploitation: Are Video Vixens ruining the perception of women?

Us 20 year olds have some serious competition...

Cancelled, Cancelled, Cancelled!

Bitchassness kills your game, my brothers...

Move Over Sex, Swagger Sells Now!

Don't Sleep

Model Search...and no I'm not Tyra

Did Eastenders Punk Out?

...And they lived Happily Ever After....

Is there a need for 'Ethnic' press?

"Computer jee, lock kar diya jaye"

Fantasy Ride featured on IFB.

Noel Clarke, the Rising Star

Jack of all Trades...

Seasons Greetings from Fantasy Ride

Doctor, I Have a Problem....

Alex vs Leona

Britannia Low

Back to Black...*(and White TV)*

It's Music of BLACK ORIGIN people!!!!!

Walk Biatches!!

Finally bit the bullet...

Back to Black...(and White TV)