"I'm Attracted to His Personality"...yeah right!

One of my favourite programmes Dating in the Dark is back for a second series on Living TV. If you've never seen it, basically it's a 'social experiment' where strangers take part in a series of dating activities with members of the opposite sex - but all in the dark. At the end of these tasks, they have the option to pick someone to see in the light - cue hilarious facial expressions and intakes of breath when they find out that the person they have been canoodling with in the dark room is the spitting image of Sideshow Bob...or if you're lucky, David Beckham (dreamy exhale!). Finally, contestants then have to decide if they want to be reunited with the person and ride off into the sunset hand in hand...also known as a ride in the back of black cab to the nearest Wetherspoons. Here is a clip of Ellie deciding between the charming Ryan and the arrogant, cocky, thinks-he's-God's-Gift Eddie...should be an easy choice shouldn't it?

So despite having a great personality and really connecting with Ryan, Ellie picks Eddie even though she even stated herself that he wasn't exactly a nice guy. When speaking to my girls, this is a common topic of conversation - females going after bad boys, nice guys finishing last, not having that so called 'spark'. Yet we complain that the guys we choose end up being the biggest idiots on planet Earth. Yes, I would say that it's all about finding a balance of personality and someone that you're attracted to, but that plan doesn't always work out. Can you be with someone you are not physically attracted to but give it a go because you really connect? Does physical attraction have to play a central role or can it work if you're simply attracted to their personality? Does it make you shallow if you turn someone away because you don't like the way they look? Can you become attracted to someone you didn't previously find attractive - can you learn to love that pot belly, bald patch and the one-eye-bigger than the other?

When talking to mother dearest about her younger days and how she fell for my Dad, she always says she was attracted to his personality, how he gave the impression that he was ambitious, a hard worker and most importantly for her, would do absolutely anything to see his children happy. Was she physically attracted to him, yes I guess so but according to her there were a lot of handsome men vying for her attention (my mum is a gorgeous saucy minx by the way) but she chose my Dad for the qualities previously mentioned. I have adopted that same attitude, like mother like daughter (including the gorgeous saucy minx part!) but if I'm honest attraction still plays a large part in whether I give someone a go or not. Is it because we're living in different times where the emphasis on physicality is a lot more prominent in society? Maybe for my mother, coming from a small village in Ghana, West Africa where there were not a great deal of opportunities available, she was attracted to someone who would be a good partner in providing her future children with the needed support to be successful in life; her priorities were different. Maybe it's because nowadays in the culture we live in there are a lot more options; everything is disposable, everything can be upgraded - including your partner. I guess there are a lot of reasons but it does make me think that our preoccupation with the physical means that we are actually missing out on an awful lot. Maybe our modern society and culture is not the best recipe for a Happily Ever After after all.

What are your thoughts; have you ever dated someone you are not attracted to and more interestingly, have you grown to find them attractive as time went on?

"I'm Attracted to His Personality"...yeah right!

Er...and Who Are You?

The award season is among us and I have been doing what I love best - watching the red carpet for those fabulous designer gowns. Actress Diane Kruger is a fashion LOVE - she always kills it and Ellie Saab joins the list of my fave designers. Apart from watching the fashion, it's a great time for people watching too - the 'a-ha, he's got different arm candy this year', the 'is she pregnant?', and the 'what the hell happened to her face?!' Just love it, it's the old nosey woman in me!

However, something has disturbed me this year, it's the 'Er....and who are you?'. Awards like the Globes, Oscars, Grammys are supposed to highlight the creme de la creme of music artists and actors in the entertainment biz. So why on earth did I see THOSE kids from Jersey Shore on the Grammy Red Carpet yesterday. For those who don't watch Jersey Shore, click here for a cringe-inducing clip.

Just goes to show the society we live in when anyone can become a 'celebrity' no matter how they get their 15 minutes. Rachel Uchitel, one of Tiger's many conquests was paid to host an event under the title of 'Celebrity Socialite'. For the UK readers, I bet you John Terry's mistress is gonna get herself a presenting gig on This Morning any day now. I think the A-Z list celebrity rating scale needs some more categories because that celeb title is getting treated like a whore - passed round to every Tom, Dick, Harry...Nicola T, Chico, Deelishes, Jedward -who's on your list?

Hey Oscars, I'm a blogger, more than 20 people know my name, my invite's in the post right?!

Er...and Who Are You?

Having Fun vs Sin...Round One...FIGHT!

Yesterday (Friday 22), Steven Baldwin and sweetheart Sisqo were evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House - now is the time to stop watching, the house is going to be dead! Watching Stephen's exit interview with Davina, I was slightly annoyed. Yes, Stephen was preachy in the house but kudos to him for representing and standing up for his faith. But I got the impression that Davina was trying to trip him up with comments implying that Stephen was going against what he preached by partaking in 'naughty' activities like smoking a cigarette and playing along with the pranks going on in the house. Hello!! Being a believer in God and the words in the Bible does not mean that you are exempt from all social and fun activities. All things in moderation and treat your body as a temple so perhaps smoking was not a good idea but Stephen already stated that he was not a smoker, hence using the quote about 'moderation' when explaining himself to Vinnie. Also, from my own understanding, God wants his followers to have fun, enjoy His creations and laugh and smile as long as it does not compromise their faith. Should Stephen just have sat in the corner reading the Bible refusing to laugh at jokes and take part in the social activities? It annoys me that Christians are often portrayed as aliens who cannot do anything fun and if they do, they are classified as hypocrites...nonsense in my opinion. What's yours?

Having Fun vs Sin...Round One...FIGHT!

Forever Young....I wanna be forever young...

Skins, Misfits, The Inbetweeners, Gossip Girl, 90210 and now Glee....you see a pattern here. These programmes either feature or are aimed at the teen demographic. It's really tricky to get teens interested in television full stop, with numerous distractions ranging from 'LOL' and 'SMH' texting to MySpacing and Facebooking their lives away. However, these programmes have managed to capture as well as maintain the interest of the young, cool crowd and along the way have picked up a few...well a load of...how can I say it - mature followers, myself included. With my age almost at that halfway point between the young and naive twenties and the 'yes-Mum,-I-know-my-biological-clock-is-ticking-30s, I find myself tuning to the antics of drunk-fuelled, sex-crazed, bitchy-drama-loving and ever so entertaining adolescents that grace our screens on a weekly basis.

So how have these shows attracted so many viewers who are old enough to remember when leg warmers were the ish the first time around? I guess you could put it down to nostalgia - they reminds us of a time when we didn't have bills to pay or have to put up with being under the armpit of a sweaty man on the Monday morning journey to work. OR perhaps it's because our society places so much emphasis on youth nowadays so we ended up living, or re-living our best years vicariously through E4. Look at me, 24 and I already think that i'm past it! Well not really, but it seems like that's the message the media and society pushes out on a regular basis. So if you can't beat em, join em. I'll definitely be tuning in to see what my adult life is missing.

Forever Young....I wanna be forever young...

Back to Black...*(and White TV)*

Hey,
Here's an issue which slightly bothers me...the lack of ethnic representation on TV. And by this, I mean characters that my friends, my family and myself can identify with. Ok, we see black people in Eastenders: Gus - the dustbin man, Paul Trueman - the gangster, Denise Fox - the single parent, Chelsea - the crackhead...a pattern forming anyone?? However, I do give credit where it is due, I have taken to the Masood family and feel that the inclusion of cultural themes such as Ramadan is a great move by Eastenders. But for the rest of television, (not everything, because there are some real gems out there) stereotypes seem to play a major role when it comes to casting, scripts, and story lines.

When Gus left Eastenders, I heard the actor Muhammed George discussing his departure during an interview on Choice FM. I recall him saying that Eastenders' bosses had apologised, saying that they didn't know how to write for him, that they were unsure of how to write for an ethnic character. Did I miss something? Am I an alien from another planet? Let's think of some of the best soap storylines that have gone by...Ok, let's settle for good because its been hard times in soap land lately. Coronation Street - Carla-Liam-Maria love triangle. Eastenders - Max-Bradley-Stacey. Hollyoaks -Niall vs McQueens. Emmerdale......anyone watch Emmerdale?? Ok moving on. My point is, couldn't those story lines be acted out by black, Chinese and/or South Asian characters? I think that some productions focus too much on the differences between races and cultures and due to lack of knowledge about certain communities revert to unfair stereotypes when really they should acknowledge that as PEOPLE, we all encounter the same situations from time to time.

At the moment, there is nothing out there which reflects my struggles, no young black female that I can relate to. While I agree that programmes like The Bill do reflect the situations which SOME are going through, I cannot see 'myself' looking back at me from the screen. Maybe it's me, maybe I lead a sheltered life, maybe they are reflecting a majority experience that I am naive to. All I know is that I live in South East London, in a large black community, I have never smoked weed or taken crack, I have never had a gun or knife pulled on me (thank God) I do not have a baby, I do not have a drug dealer boyfriend, I have not dropped out of school and have not been forced into an arranged marriage with Uncle Kojo from Agogo village....yet.

However, what I and many people I know have experienced as a young person living in Urban London is what most young people go through - finding a good man and other relationship issues (tell me about it), dealing with traditional African parents, managing friendships, adapting to the professional world of work. The subject is the same but there are just slight cultural inflections – nothing that should be so difficult for a television producer to recreate. Are theses subjects boring, less sensationalist than the stereotype? Possibly. But in a country with a lack of understanding or respect for other cultures and each other, the message that these stereotypes are pushing out there is just detrimental to society as a whole. For someone whose only experience with Asians are the stereotypical story lines they see on the TV, can you imagine the impact on the perception and understanding of people from that community?

I guess my point is that there is little variety to the representations out there. With white characters you have a mixture of good and evil, on the right side of the law and on the wrong side of the law, doing well in life and not doing so well. You have variety. I am not denying that issues like arranged marriages, "black on black" crime and single parenthood exists in ethnic communities but when this is the only thing we see, then TV must be doing more damage than good.

Noel Clarke, holla at me, we can do business.

Back to Black...*(and White TV)*