By: Twitter Buttons
Showing posts with label society. Show all posts
Showing posts with label society. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 December 2010

2010...The Year of the 'Hater'?


Well it's the end of the year in a few days and the social networks are alive with reflections of 2010 as well as people looking forward with renewed motivation to 2011. Don't worry, you won't see any "2011 is my year, next year watch me blow" kind of statements around here; '2000 and Grind' absolutely jarred my head back in '09. I think I'll just keep my head down and get on it with it. Nevertheless, as I look back into 2010, there are three words that come to mind, a phrase that was thrown out at every opportunity, the statement that was such a cliche, saying that it was a cliche actually became a cliche....yep you've guessed it: 'He/She's a hater'.

Now there are two sides of my fence here, the second side annoys me slightly more than the first. Let's start with the first (well obviously). My question is have we become a nation of haters? I've been asking myself this for a while. Yes the term has been around before 2010 but this year for whatever reason (ahem Twitter) it has entered my viewing space on more or less an every-day basis. The rise in the popularity social networks, which by their very nature invite people to comment, and programmes such as X Factor and Dancing with the Stars where we all become singing and dance experts, means that we are encouraged to state our opinion - good and bad. Now I'm all for that, having an opinion. Well I blog, if I didn't have an opinion then I wouldn't be here. But has it come to a point where the negative comments are outweighing the good?

Well taking a look at one days worth of my Twitter and FB news feeds, I would say otherwise; I see supportive comments, retweets of projects that others are working on, encouragement and praise etc. Obviously there are the odd jibes at Cheryl Cole or an up and coming Team UK rapper but perhaps its because I follow positive people, I'm not surrounded by too much negativity. This is a principle that I apply to my 'offline' life also, therefore the so-called excessive 'hateration' doesn't bother me so much. To me, it appears to be so easy to get rid of people that you deem negative: cut them off, block them, delete their number, you get the drift. However, for some reason the cries of 'Hi Hater' still seem to be on repeat on my airwaves.

Now this is what annoys me, the second side of my fence, the issue that led me to a midnight rant on FB which had me furiously typing away at my Blackberry, eyes wide open like a crazy woman - it was in no way the 'Carrie' image that I have of myself whenever I blog or write. I was being voyeuristic, catching up with what all of my 200 odd 'friends' had been up to that day and was astounded by the number of 'hater'-related status updates there were. Nowadays, it seems like everyone has got haters, from Diddy venting his frustration to his fans via UStream, to Abdul from the Lion's chicken shop down the road complaining about the chip shop around the corner stealing his customers. It has become endemic amongst our generation - if you are anybody then you HAVE to talk about about how many haters you have, how you're going to prove your haters wrong and how much they motivate you to 'grind harder'. Stop begging it. You don't have haters. Damn, all I said was that I didn't like your trainers and now I'm a hater of your life goals and achievements???!! Maybe it's because over the years the ideology of celebrity and fame has become more prominent in our society, whether it be red-carpet fame or fame-on-the-road. The media and shows like X-Factor have told us to believe in ourselves and not let anyone tell us we can't achieve our dreams, so much so that now it appears that we have inflated egos where criticism is dismissed because the person who said it, that blasted dream-killer, is obviously just an ugly person inside who is simply jealous and doesn't know what they're talking about. For example, I am a Beyonce fan but that doesn't mean I'm going to like everything she does. I made a comment about B on my blog a while back (you see, so close we're on first-initial basis), one negative word and the stans came at me like flying banshees. Now I love Beyonce, yes I complain about her being overexposed but throw on 'Baby Boy' and I can do the entire sand-dance routine blindfolded - backwards roll and everything! Does a negative comment make me a hater? In fact, at what point does someone become a hater? Is it five negative comments in a row, or if they make a positive comment now and again then that's ok? Who cares!!! I'm so over hearing this word! (Closes eyes, inhales and exhales for ten seconds).

Not everyone is going to like what you do; it's inevitable you will face negative comments one way or the other. Yes there may be some people out there who never say or do anything positive but why is that an issue to you, ask yourself that question. Do you rely too much on external validation perhaps? If naysayers do criticise you, decide whether it is constructive or not; if it isn't, then don't let it bother you. Personally, I don't let it affect me either way so for me to talk/tweet/FB/get annoyed or angry about 'haters' is expending energy in a wasteful manner when it could be more useful elsewhere.

What do you think, have we become a nation of haters or do people just have inflated egos which means they find it difficult to swallow criticism? Speak on it.

If you like this post, feel free to comment and share (new feature alert!) I appreciate your support. If you don't like it, comment anyway, I don't care -you're just a hater! ;)
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Monday, 5 July 2010

"I'm Attracted to His Personality"...yeah right!


One of my favourite programmes Dating in the Dark is back for a second series on Living TV. If you've never seen it, basically it's a 'social experiment' where strangers take part in a series of dating activities with members of the opposite sex - but all in the dark. At the end of these tasks, they have the option to pick someone to see in the light - cue hilarious facial expressions and intakes of breath when they find out that the person they have been canoodling with in the dark room is the spitting image of Sideshow Bob...or if you're lucky, David Beckham (dreamy exhale!). Finally, contestants then have to decide if they want to be reunited with the person and ride off into the sunset hand in hand...also known as a ride in the back of black cab to the nearest Wetherspoons. Here is a clip of Ellie deciding between the charming Ryan and the arrogant, cocky, thinks-he's-God's-Gift Eddie...should be an easy choice shouldn't it?

So despite having a great personality and really connecting with Ryan, Ellie picks Eddie even though she even stated herself that he wasn't exactly a nice guy. When speaking to my girls, this is a common topic of conversation - females going after bad boys, nice guys finishing last, not having that so called 'spark'. Yet we complain that the guys we choose end up being the biggest idiots on planet Earth. Yes, I would say that it's all about finding a balance of personality and someone that you're attracted to, but that plan doesn't always work out. Can you be with someone you are not physically attracted to but give it a go because you really connect? Does physical attraction have to play a central role or can it work if you're simply attracted to their personality? Does it make you shallow if you turn someone away because you don't like the way they look? Can you become attracted to someone you didn't previously find attractive - can you learn to love that pot belly, bald patch and the one-eye-bigger than the other?

When talking to mother dearest about her younger days and how she fell for my Dad, she always says she was attracted to his personality, how he gave the impression that he was ambitious, a hard worker and most importantly for her, would do absolutely anything to see his children happy. Was she physically attracted to him, yes I guess so but according to her there were a lot of handsome men vying for her attention (my mum is a gorgeous saucy minx by the way) but she chose my Dad for the qualities previously mentioned. I have adopted that same attitude, like mother like daughter (including the gorgeous saucy minx part!) but if I'm honest attraction still plays a large part in whether I give someone a go or not. Is it because we're living in different times where the emphasis on physicality is a lot more prominent in society? Maybe for my mother, coming from a small village in Ghana, West Africa where there were not a great deal of opportunities available, she was attracted to someone who would be a good partner in providing her future children with the needed support to be successful in life; her priorities were different. Maybe it's because nowadays in the culture we live in there are a lot more options; everything is disposable, everything can be upgraded - including your partner. I guess there are a lot of reasons but it does make me think that our preoccupation with the physical means that we are actually missing out on an awful lot. Maybe our modern society and culture is not the best recipe for a Happily Ever After after all.

What are your thoughts; have you ever dated someone you are not attracted to and more interestingly, have you grown to find them attractive as time went on?
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Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Er...and Who Are You?


The award season is among us and I have been doing what I love best - watching the red carpet for those fabulous designer gowns. Actress Diane Kruger is a fashion LOVE - she always kills it and Ellie Saab joins the list of my fave designers. Apart from watching the fashion, it's a great time for people watching too - the 'a-ha, he's got different arm candy this year', the 'is she pregnant?', and the 'what the hell happened to her face?!' Just love it, it's the old nosey woman in me!

However, something has disturbed me this year, it's the 'Er....and who are you?'. Awards like the Globes, Oscars, Grammys are supposed to highlight the creme de la creme of music artists and actors in the entertainment biz. So why on earth did I see THOSE kids from Jersey Shore on the Grammy Red Carpet yesterday. For those who don't watch Jersey Shore, click here for a cringe-inducing clip.

Just goes to show the society we live in when anyone can become a 'celebrity' no matter how they get their 15 minutes. Rachel Uchitel, one of Tiger's many conquests was paid to host an event under the title of 'Celebrity Socialite'. For the UK readers, I bet you John Terry's mistress is gonna get herself a presenting gig on This Morning any day now. I think the A-Z list celebrity rating scale needs some more categories because that celeb title is getting treated like a whore - passed round to every Tom, Dick, Harry...Nicola T, Chico, Deelishes, Jedward -who's on your list?

Hey Oscars, I'm a blogger, more than 20 people know my name, my invite's in the post right?!
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